The recaps are for the second season only, fyi. Have fun reading!
Episode 1: Summer Kind of Wonderful
September 1, 2008
The first episode of Gossip Girl’s second season will be aired hours from now but here’s a recap done by Gossip Girl Insider since the fan site was already sent a DVD copy by the CW network in advance. Don’t continue reading if you don’t want any spoilers!!! Here it is:
“Season Two of Gossip Girl opens in New York’s Hamptons region of Long Island. Summer fun – and romantic drama – for all involved.
When we first see Nate (Chace Crawford), he is in the process of getting pawed feverishly in the car by a cougar. In other words, an older, married woman. He’s clearly more into her than he’s letting on, and relishing the role of boy-toy.
Nate has been masquerading that he and Serena are together, but really, she is just playing along so that he can do whatever he wants and people will leave her alone about her messy breakup with Dan.
Speaking of Lonely Boy… he’s been far from lonely. He’s got a summer job assisting a well-known writer in the Hamptons, but rather than writing, he is focused more on his endeavors with the opposite sex.
To be exact, he’s dating two chicks at the same time. Go Dan!
The younger Humphrey, Jenny, is working at the fashion design house of Blair’s mom, Eleanor. She’s getting abused by her big-shot supervisor and told she’s not good enough. What she really needs is a friend. A friend named Eric.
Chuck Bass is being, well, Chuck Bass, lounging on the beach and keeping company with three bikini-clad babes all too eager to provide “caretaking” of whatever he requests. But what he’s really fixated on is Blair.
He wants her back even though he ditched her in the first place. One gets the sense she would be open to it – but first, she’s coming to the Hamptons with new boyfriend James. A boyfriend she’s using to make Chuck jealous.
Chuck sees through this right away, but at dinner with Blair and her family, he’s annoyed at how interested “James” seems to be in his girl.
James then catches on that he’s being played by Blair and calls her selfish. She admits to using him, saying he’s boring. He says she’s only interested in herself.
The cougar, Katherine, invites Nate to her house for another mauling – and apparently for the first time at her actual resident. Her husband is out of town, so that’s cool. Well, that is until he comes home early from wherever he was, and nearly catches them in the act.
Nate is forced to flee out a window and run through the streets of East Hampton half naked, where he’s almost run over by Serena and the hot lifeguard Blair convinced her to go on a date with.
Nothing came of their date – except the priceless look on Nate’s face as he looked at Serena and the dude asked her “What’s that guy’s deal?!”
The Hamptons “White Party” is coming up and lots of things are happening. Jenny apologizes to Eric (Connor Paolo) for the way she treated him, and he agrees to get her an invitation somehow.
Dan is also going, having been axed from his summer job. So are faux couple Serena and Nate – who wants to get a look at Katherine’s husband face-to-face.
Chuck has been doing some recon on Blair’s boyfriend, and is growing more and more suspicious that he’s not the Georgetown stud he says he is.
At the party, Jenny runs into her boss, who is none too pleased to see her – but Eric saves the day by introducing J to Tinsley Mortimer, a real-life socialite and apparent friend of Eric and Serena’s mom.
Tinsley loves Jenny’s designs and they totally hit it off. Thanks to Little E’s connection, Little J was able to show her boss up somethin’ fierce!
Nate becomes insanely jealous seeing Katherine with her husband. Serena helps him retaliate with some serious PDA in full view of everyone.
The move works well for Nate, who is later tackled by a jealous Katherine. But it backfires on Serena as Dan sees them. He’s not pleased when once again, his dream girl can’t or won’t explain her strange actions.
For once, though, Dan is knocked off his moral high horse when BOTH his summer flings corner him at the party as he’s talking to Serena. They’ve figured out that he’s been two-timing them and douse him in cocktails.
Humbled, Dan admits to Serena that he can’t get her out of his head. They agree to leave the party together and talk some more.
Just as Chuck is about to uncover James’ true identity, he finds Blair and says he has a confession of his own. It turns out James was also being dishonest with her – he is actually Marcus Beaton, a British Lord. With an accent and everything!
Most girls simply want him for his title and money, he tells Blair – so he has been pretending to be an average American this whole time. Suddenly Queen B finds him a little less dull than she used to.
As she’s about to leave the White Party with Marcus, Chuck corners Blair and begs her not to. She says if he will say just three words – eight letters – she’ll be his. Chuck wants to, but stutters and just can’t.
Spurned again, Blair leaves with Marcus.
Here are some quotes from the said episode by the way. Enjoy:
***Blair: I would be in my cabana at the Hotel de Cat, and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that… Chuck Bass-tard!
***Chuck: You’re lying.
Blair: I am not.
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don’t match your mouth.
Blair: I wasn’t aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?
***Gossip Girl: Unlike the rest of us, sex lies and scandal never take a vacation. Instead, they take the Long Island Expressway and head east – to the Hamptons! Some of us would say summer is the busiest season. Think Park Avenue, but with Tennis whites, and Band de Soleil. The players change, but the game remains the same.
***Gossip Girl: They say summer love is fleeting. But sometimes what starts as a fling, can lead to the real thing. A simple trip to the beach can be all it takes to clear our heads and open our heads, and write a new ending to an old story. There are those who got burned by the heat. They just want to forget and start over. While there are others who want each moment to last forever. But everyone can agreed on one thing – tans fade, highlights go dark, and we all get sick of getting sand in our shoes. But summer is the beginning of a new season, so we find ourselves looking to the future. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
***Chuck: Please don’t leave with him.
Blair: Why? Give me a reason… and “I’m Chuck Bass” doesn’t count.
Chuck: ‘Cause you don’t want to.
Blair: That’s not enough.
Chuck: ‘Cause I don’t want you to.
Blair: That’s not enough.
Chuck: What else is there?
Blair: The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters. Say it… that I’m yours.
Chuck: I… I … [pause]
Blair: Thank you. That’s all I needed here.
***Gossip Girl: Spotted: Serena and Nate in a massive display of PDA… and that’s exactly what Dan Humphrey is. Pretty. Damn. Angry.
***Blair: Damn that mother Chucker! He’s totally right! I don’t even like James!
Serena: Thank you. I was totally waiting for that.
***Gossip Girl: Chuck Bass waiting for the Jitney. A dozen roses in one hand, his heart in the other. You know what they say: A man is a good thing to come home for. But an even better thing to come home with.
***Gossip Girl: Ain’t karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is.
***Serena: I still miss Dan sometimes… more than sometimes.
Blair: The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey… is mourning Dan Humphrey.
Episode 2: Never Been Marcused
September 8, 2008
Here’s the full recap for Gossip Girl Season 2’s second episode, courtesy of the Gossip Girl Insider:
This episode of Gossip Girl begins where the last one, “Summer, Kind of Wonderful,” left off – at the beach, with Dan and Serena. Only it’s the morning after, and they’ve just spent possibly the most passionate night of all time.
Or so we can imagine, based on Serena wearing only Dan’s jacket.
These two are totally back together, right? Well, sort of.
Serena wants to take time to think about it for awhile first. But at the same time she can not get Dan out of her thoughts – and certainly vice versa.
On the bus ride back to N.Y. City from the Hamptons, the two of them keep staring at one another until they feel they have absolutely no choice but to get it on right there in the bus bathroom. Awesome scene.
For whatever reason, Vanessa has turned Rufus’ art gallery space into a cafe or coffee shop of some sort while he was away during the summer. We’re sort of confused as to where this story line is going but the two of them seem surprisingly close. He confides in her that he misses his kids, and thanks her for the hard work she’s put into the new cafe. Expect this development to be a bigger factor in later episodes.
With the summer almost over, Nate plans to return to the city. But he gets some bad news from his mom – the feds are seizing the family’s possessions because his dad is on the run from the law. Seizing an opportunity to help his friend – and help his own cause with Blair – Chuck arranges to sell his shares in the Victrola to help the Archibalds out of financial trouble.
Nate is far from pleased, but we soon see this issue is far from over.
Speaking of Nate, his relationship with married Catherine soon takes on an unexpected, sexy twist. While confiding in her about his family problems, she agrees to bail out Nate’s mom instead … so long as Nate keeps giving her some teenage loving, of course. Nathaniel had wanted to cut off their affair but is now roped back into it.
And in another interesting development, it turns out Catherine is actually the stepmother of Marcus, Blair’s British boyfriend. Chuck learns this when he befriends Marcus over a game of squash and the Lord confides that the Duchess never seems happy with the girls he brings home. Chuck pretends to be sympathetic as he schemes to ruin Blair and keep her for himself!
Desperate to impress her royal beau and his stepmother, Blair decides to put together a big high society party in New York. That is where Chuck arrives with Catherine as his date and blows the lid off of the joint.
When she’s introduced to Duchess Beaton, Blair is told that a lowly Waldorf will never be good enough for her Marcus.
Just as Chuck Bass’ scheme seems to have worked, Blair happens upon what will allow her to turn the tables – Nate blatantly in the act of giving it to Catherine at the hotel where the party is. Oh my effing god, indeed.
Blair wastes no time blackmailing Catherine, threatening to expose their little tryst. In exchange for her silence, Blair wants the Duchess’ approval of her dating Marcus. Begrudgingly, Catherine offers Marcus her blessing to continue seeing Blair – as Queen B glares at her victoriously. Another awesome scene.
Foiled again, Chuck can’t help but admire being out-foxed by Blair – but still vows to win her affections once and for all.
Episode 3: The Dark Night
September 15, 2008
Wow, it just keeps getting better and better. Here’s the full episode recap for the 3rd episode of Gossip Girl season 2. Episode title is “The Dark Night”. Thanks to the Gossip Girl Insider as always:
As “The Dark Night” gets underway, Dan and Serena are planning a coming out party. Well, more accurately, they’re planning on going public with their relationship again at Blair’s big upcoming party.
But when one of Gossip Girl’s minions takes a cellphone pic of them and the secret is out, it immediately starts to get in Dan’s head. Making matters worse, he’s confronted by a bunch of catty girls in the park. Having read Gossip Girl’s blog, the youngsters want to know why Dan could possibly go out with Serena again after everything she did.
Also having a personal (read: physical) crisis of course is Chuck Bass. He can’t get his “game” on, no matter what he does. Seriously, the equipment doesn’t work. For Chuck Bass.
When he confides this to Serena, she points out that he’s obviously still hung up on Blair. He determines that what he needs is one more roll in the hay with Blair, just to clean the pipes. This is bound to go well.
In the exciting world of fashion design, Jenny is busy working on a dress for Blair’s mom when she’s overheard making a couple of bitchy comments about it. Eleanor is pissed, and basically fires Little J on the spot.
Nate Archibald is in a bind. Blackmailed by Catherine to continue their affair, he finds himself yearning for Vanessa.
Blair is getting into the mix as well. With her big party just around the corner, she’s determined to throw Nate off his game – with Catherine. She therefore invites Vanessa to the party to halt Nate’s affair with her boy Marcus’ stepmother. But will it be that easy?
Blair is also worried that Marcus sees her as too delicate, because he hasn’t pressured her about sex. Not even once!
The night of the big party arrives, and before long, the power goes out. Thus, “The Dark Night.” The fun is about to begin.
Nate had tried to get Vanessa not to come, but she ignored his voicemail and showed up anyway… to discover Catherine holding his hand. He pulls V aside and tells her everything. She tells N to break up with the cougar now, for his own sake. He’s better than this, she tells him!
Jenny finds redemption during the city-wide blackout as Eleanor realizes J’s criticisms were actually spot-on, and that she overreacted because of how it made her feel – irrelevant. Jenny then compliments Mrs. Waldorf’s awesome designs and they bond, agreeing to work late on Eleanor’s upcoming project, even as Rufus and his date (!) show up to pick Jenny up.
On the way up to the bash, Serena and Dan get stuck in the elevator. It’s then that the floodgates open even as the elevator door will not. Stubborn Dan calls for help, then bristles when mentioning Serena’s name results in faster assistance. After finally talking about why they broke up in the first place, they realize that neither can change who they are, and agree that when they leave this elevator, it’s over. Very sad.
Now for tonight’s main event(s).
Catherine corners Vanessa and asserts her demands that Vanessa back off her turf. We don’t see the end of that conversation at the time, but Vanessa finds Nate and tells her he belongs with Catherine. Later, Vanessa confides to Dan that if she didn’t back off, Catherine threatened to turn Nate’s dad in to the FBI, because she knows where he’s hiding. This cougar has won yet again and is not going quietly.
Chuck sweeps over to the party and tells Blair to sleep with him, one last time. She shot him down but there was MAJOR sexual tension lingering. After Catherine tells Blair she intends to keep Nate at any cost – because she feels alive with him, which B would never understand – Blair decides she wants it all with Marcus. She tells him to meet her upstairs in her room.
Up there, a mysterious man lurks in the dark. But who is it? He speaks in a British accent, but it’s Chuck! He and Blair cannot keep their hands off of each other, but then the lights come back on and Marcus catches them in the act! She says she didn’t know it was Chuck, then admits she did, but says what she really wants is Marcus. To prove his love for her.
Less than a minute after being caught sucking face with Chuck, Blair is all over Marcus in full view of the Basshole. This is one love triangle that just keeps getting better and better.
************************************************************************************
Here are some quotes from last night’s episode:
***Dan: I can’t believe Nate Archibald is a gigolo.
Vanessa: You can’t tell anyone!
Dan: Who? Who would I tell? Except everyone I’ve ever met. [pauses] I won’t.
***Gossip Girl: Love may fade with the season, but some friendships are year round. Like you and me! You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
***Serena: I forgive you… for Georgina.
Dan: And I forgive you …
Serena: We keep having this same fight. At Bart’s brunch, a year ago. At the wedding…
Dan: Where we talked about the fight at Bart’s brunch.
Serena: And now here. [pauses] I can’t change who I am, Dan.
Dan: Me neither.
***Marcus [sees Blair and Chuck] … Blair!
Blair: ohmigod, ohmigod.
Marcus: Blair, what is it?
Blair: You don’t understand! I thought it was you! He had an accent!
Chuck: Please, you knew exactly who it was.
***Blair: Marcus wait!
Marcus: Did you really not know it was him? Can you honestly tell me that?
Blair: I knew it was him.
Marcus: Thank you.
Blair: But I want you!
Marcus: No Blair. You want my title. The idea of who I am. But you clearly want him. Which makes me a fool. Because I really did want you. I DO want you.
Blair: Then show me! I’m not some delicate little flower. Show me!
***Blair: Not that it’s any of your business, but Marcus and I have an amazing sex life.
Chuck: Really? [pauses] What names does he call you when you make love? Where does he put his hand? Does he … [whispers] Have sex with me.
Blair: What?
Chuck: Just once, that’s all I ask.
Blair: You are disgusting and I hate you.
Chuck: Then why are you still holding my hand?
***Serena: I’m sorry, I’m not laughing. It’s just so obvious. You’re not over Blair. This is your body’s way of telling you!
Chuck: I don’t have a romantic bone in my body. Least of all that one. But you do raise an interesting idea. Clearly there’s some kind of … blockage.
[pauses] Perhaps …
Serena: No!
Chuck: One more go-around, just to clear the pipes.
Serena: You are not using Blair as sexual Drano!
***Serena: Why can’t you support me?
Blair: Have you two talked about everything? The very real reasons you broke up last year?
Serena: Not… completely.
Blair: Well, when you do, if you’re still together, then I’ll be happy for you. Until then I think you’re just fooling yourself.
***Gossip Girl: In these last hazy days of summer, a few simple tips to beat the heat: 1. Drink plenty of fluids. 2. Stay out of the sun. 3. Limit all physical activity… that is, within reason.
***Gossip Girl: If you can’t stand the heat … there’s always a cold shower.
***Blair: We’ve been dating for awhile, so I thought …
Marcus: I feel the same way. But you’re very special. I want the moment to equal it.
***Dan: Serena… I still …
Serena: I know. Me too.
[elevator door closes]
Serena: … I love you.
***Serena: I’m scared.
Dan: Me too.
Serena: When I step out of here, it’s over.
Dan: I think… I think it was already. It just took us this long to realize, and get used to it.
Episode 4: The Ex Files
September 22, 2008
Another explosive episode if you ask me. Here’s the recap for the fourth episode, courtesy of Buddy TV:
Three 6 Mafia once informed us that it’s hard out here for a pimp, but Gossip Girl has taught us that being a gigolo isn’t exactly a walk in the park either. Last week, Vanessa learned that Cougar Catherine will happily sell Nate’s dad down the river if Nate doesn’t keep delivering the love on a regular basis. V promptly broke things off with Mr. Archibald, while Dan and Serena were experiencing a break up of their own. Those two kids just can’t accept the fact that they come from different worlds. Strangely enough, Blair’s relationship with the Lord still seems to be going strong, despite the fact that he caught her making out with Chuck.
On tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl, Dan gets friendly with a new girl named Amanda. I don’t think Lonely Boy will be lonely for very long.
Gossip Girl begins on the first day of school. Lily is back in town with tales of her romantic adventures with Bart Bass, and Chuck makes sure to fill her in on Serena’s break up. C tells S that she’s a born queen, and that it’s about time she reclaimed her crown and ruled the school like the olden days. Over in Brooklyn, Little J is afraid to go to school due to Blair’s psychosis. B and her gang of perfectly coiffed wannabes split new girls into two categories every year: Projects and Victims. J was a Project last year, but now she’s afraid she’s going to be downgraded. Luckily for her, B’s posse simply ignores her in the hallways.
Nate corners Vanessa on the sidewalk to figure out why she bolted from the party last week. Instead of explaining how evil Cougar Catherine is, she just blows him off. Nate isn’t having any luck with love, but Dan fares a bit better at school when he runs into a new girl named Amanda. It’s your typical meet cute moment, but things get awkward when Serena sees them acting like they’re in a romantic comedy. Humphrey isn’t supposed to land a date before the Queen of Constance Billiard lines one up. The world is askew!
Blair somehow gets a complete file on Amanda in no time. She’s horrified to discover that she’s basically Dan with boobs. Over at the gallery, Cougar Catherine drops in on Vanessa to give her five thousand bucks. I would happily take that money to keep my mouth shut, but because this is TV Vanessa is offended. Unfortunately, the Duchess scurries off before she can get all huffy about it.
Dan and Serena share some awkward banter in the hallway, and things only get weirder when Amanda and her massive bangs drop by. Chuck, who’s sporting a killer new haircut BTW, immediately rubs Dan’s flirtation with the newbie in Serena’s face. While Gossip Girl spreads that scandal around the school, Lily pays a visit to Rufus for the first time in months. They make a date to go see Repo Man, which is a legitimately terrible movie posing as a cult classic. Trust me on this, there’s a reason Lily walked out of it 20 years ago.
Blair and her gang corner Amanda and treat her like a Project, but she’s actually a Victim. B just wants to lure her away from Dan, and nice, innocent Amanda falls for it. She’s not cut out for the Upper East Side, and neither is her hair. As interesting as that is, there’s a super scandal happening over at Cougar Catherine’s place. She’s making out with her stepson, Lord Marcus!! OMFG! And ew, that’s almost incest!
Chuck lets Dan know that Amanda has been whisked away by the girls. So much for Lonely Boy’s lunch date. Over at B’s lunch gathering, she informs Amanda that dating a friend’s ex is absolutely out of the question. Blair wants to be bitchy and helpful, but of course Serena wants to find Dan and explain everything. Enough about that, let’s get back to the best scandal ever! V was smart enough to take photos of the faux-incest, and Dan advises her to show them to Blair. “Google revenge and you get BlairWaldorf.com” he tells her. Hee. I actually want to test that to see if it’s true.
Serena tries to apologize to Dan, but things quickly turn awkward and somewhat hostile. The “who can skank it up first” competition is on! Meanwhile, Blair is none too pleased to discover that the Lord is sleeping with his stepmonster. V tells her about the situation with Nate’s dad, and now it’s up to a heartbroken B to devise the best revenge plot of all time. I can’t wait to see what she does.
Two members of B’s posse see Dan out with Amanda and quickly snap a photo. The ex wars are just getting started. Jenny whacks him in the face the next morning and reminds him that he’s committing social suicide and hurting Serena in the process. Of course, Chuck makes sure to fill S in on all the scandal when she wakes up in the morning. Later that morning, V enlists Little J to help her find Blair. Jenny has to face off with members of the Girl Mafia, who assure her that they’ll start making her life hell very soon.
Serena thinks it’s a good idea to go out on a date with Dan and Amanda. That will accomplish what exactly? If you pull out your Martha Stewart cookbook and look up the recipe for awkwardness, I think the ingredients include going out on a date with your ex and his new crush. Another awkward situation is happening at a nearby restaurant, where Blair is busy destroying the lives of the Lord and the Duchess. She has a plan, but one thing she doesn’t expect is V showing the Duke the incriminating photos, which she does without B’s knowledge.
While Serena’s busy with the weird three-way date, B’s posse introduce her to two studly gentlemen. They offer to buy her a drink, and she gladly accepts. The threesome soon becomes a foursome, which proves that S wants to cook up Martha Stewart’s recipe for super duper awkwardness. Oh S, doesn’t your life have enough scandal? She shares a moment alone with Dan at the bar where she explains that seeing him with Amanda truly hurt her. She then tells him to get the hell out of the building, but Chuck advises him to stick around to see “the real Serena.”
B tells Nate all about Cougar Catherine’s extracurricular activities, and she throws in the extra special news that she convinced Catherine to pay off the Archibald debts before leaving town. Awesome! Unfortunately, the fact that V told the Duke everything throws a big wrench into the scheme. This is why amateurs should never get involved in destroying people’s lives. B confronts V and smacks her down for her goody two-shoes maneuver. Thanks to Vanessa’s big mouth, the Duke shipped Marcus and Catherine off without any debts being paid.
Lily wants to bond with Rufus over Harry Dean Stanton movies, but Rufus has had enough of their on-again, off-again love story. He tells her to go be Mrs. Bart Bass. Over at the bar, the Girl Mafia puts something in Amanda’s hair that makes it start falling out. Dan is pissed, thinking that Serena ordered the hit. S makes sure to let the Girl Mafia know that she’s in charge now, and all schemes must go through her.
Nate is upset that Vanessa confided in Dan and Blair before turning to him. They’re no longer friends. At school, the two members of the Girl Mafia who have tons of screen time in this episode are making Little J’s life hell. I wish I knew their names, but I draw the line at memorizing the names of glorified extras. Meanwhile, we soon learn that Chuck paid Amanda to get close to Dan. It was all a giant ploy so he could coerce Serena into reclaiming her throne. Devious! I love it. I guess Amanda and her bangs were secretly evil all along.
B is shocked to discover that Serena is now taking charge of the posse. Chuck tells B that he’s behind S’s rise to power, and she’s noticeably pissed. As the episode comes to an end, Dan discovers that he’s become an even bigger outcast in the halls of Constance Billiard. Queen S gives him a withering glare as she walks by. She’s totally evil now, you guys! That already makes Serena ten times more interesting.
Episode 5: The Serena Also Rises
September 29, 2008
Without further adieu, here’s the recap courtesy of Buddy TV:
Last week’s episode of Gossip Girl was filled with all the delicious scandal and glorious backstabbing we’ve come to expect from the series. Blair successfully ran Marcus and Catherine out of town after Vanessa found the evil MILF making out with her stepson, but her absence now leaves Nate (Chace Crawford) with a ton of debt and nowhere to turn. Proving that B isn’t the only one capable of evil mind games, Chuck hired a girl named Amanda to woo Dan, all in an effort to convince Serena to reclaim her rightful place as queen of Constance Billiard. The ploy worked, and now S is in charge, Dan is shunned, and Blair has to share the spotlight with her supposed best friend.
On tonight’s Gossip Girl, the Upper East Siders head to New York Fashion Week, where the rivalry between Blair and Serena reaches very well-dressed new heights.
Fashion Week is on as tonight’s Gossip Girl kicks off. Over in Brooklyn, which is hardly the sartorial capital of the world, Dan is chatting with Little J about the thrills of college applications. Dan thinks his sister is headed to school, but Jenny is still burying herself in her internship to avoid the evil girl mafia.
Over at Constance Billiard, B plans to win over the girls with second row invitations to Fashion Week. She passes out the sought after invites, but B quickly gets shown up when the mafia sees Serena and socialite Poppy Lifton in the latest issue of Women’s Wear Daily. Apparently, they’re BFFs now. Chuck tries to rub the embarrassment in B’s face, but she snaps back by telling him he has fewer friends that Dan Humphrey. Ouch!
All of Dan’s college essays are autobiographical, which is boring his Pulitzer-winning adviser to death. The guy tells him to get out in the world and experience something new. To get started on his little adventure, he goes to visit Mr. Debauchery himself: Chuck Bass. They make plans to go out on the town, though Chuck (Ed Westwick) seems less than thrilled with the idea. At Eleanor Waldorf Designs, Little J convinces her boss to invite Serena and her new socialite friends to Fashion Week to help their show trump the Marc Jacobs presentation. B not only has a screaming fit when she finds out the news, but she immediately plots to annihilate Jenny Humphrey.
Evil Serena (Blake Lively) isn’t all that evil just yet, so she still worries that Blair will turn against her if she dares to strut her stuff on the catwalk. Poppy talks her into it, and B even tells her to go for it, which is probably a sign that she’s plotting to dump pig’s blood on everyone in the middle of the show. It turns out her scheme isn’t quite that terrible. She just sends S out on the runway in a dress designed by Little J instead of one made by Eleanor Waldorf. Talk about a fashion faux pas!
Rufus (Matthew Settle) heads to Fashion Week planning to ground J until she’s 30, but all is forgiven when he sees how she saved Eleanor’s show. Okay, that’s a lie. All is forgiven for about five seconds, until J admits that she told the headmistress she’s not planning to go back to school. EVER. Now she’s going to be grounded until she’s 67. As the episode comes to an end, Serena tells B to get over herself. She’s tired of holding herself back and dealing with Blair’s insecurities, so she’s going to shine as bright as she wants and force B to deal with it. I think we can officially refer to her as Evil Serena now.
Episode 6: New Haven Can Wait
October 13, 2008
Here’s the recap of New Haven Can wait courtesy of the Gossip Girl Insider. Enjoy:
For one Gossip Girl character, it’s a nightmare straight out of My Fair Lady. For a bunch of them, it’s a trip to the big dance (a.k.a. Yale).
Just as she is about to drink the orange juice that Dorota brings to her in bed, Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) sees Page Six with a picture of Serena (Blake Lively). It just fuels her fire against her ex-BFF even more.
But Blair isn’t the only one who wants to go to Yale. Dan, Nate and Chuck all decide to visit on the same day. Dan legitimately wants to go to the school for their English department, Nate considers it a backup school because he would rather go to a school (USC) where people don’t know his family, and Chuck is taking the practical approach to finding a college – looking for the schools with the best secret societies.
Serena seems content visiting Brown until Blair totally bashes Brown and tells Serena that she didn’t stand a chance of getting into Yale.
Little does Blair know that Serena got a hand-written invitation from the Yale’s admission office for a school visit. Egged-on by Blair, Serena decides to hop on the Yale bandwagon and visit the school.
As for high school, Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen) is still not going. Some tension arises when Jenny offers the solution of home-schooling to her dad (Vanessa, amazingly, would be her teacher). Rufus rejects the idea.
Jenny makes a deal with him – if he follows her around her job for one day and still thinks that she should go back to school and ignore her dream of pursuing fashion, she will quit working for Eleanor and return to school.
Rufus agrees, but doesn’t want Jenny to drop out. He even tries to get Eleanor to fire Jenny so that she can return to school. Eleanor refuses.
At Yale, things are going wrong for Blair. She is surprised to see Serena in the Dean’s office. Blair’s interview ends up going horribly wrong. When Blair confronts Serena, the latter admits she first came to get back at B, but she likes the school and the people, and isn’t sorry.
Making matters worse, Serena is invited to an intimate gathering at the Dean’s house that night. This sends Blair over the edge.
Blair goes to the Dean’s secretary and schemes her way into the party.
Meanwhile, Dan also doesn’t do a good job during his interview when the Dean notices that his app only contains one letter of recommendation. The Dean tells Dan to find someone else (particularly on campus) to write him one.
The person that Dan ends up seeking out for help happens to be an English student … who has fallen for Nate. But she thinks that Nate is actually Dan Humphrey! Nate came up with a quick alter-ego when he overheard people talking about him and his family problems on campus … he made out with this girl, but he might have picked a better alias.
While seeking help getting his material into the hands of an English prof, Dan ends up walking in on Nate and this girl making out. Dan sees Nate has been pretending to be him and gets annoyed.
Chuck Bass, meanwhile, has been trying to get inside secret society Skull and Bones. The men sought him as a candidate for membership next year.
Chuck impresses them by basically bringing in really expensive hookers to “entertain” them and secure his place in the society. However, the Skulls want Chuck to bring Nate because Nate’s father stole some of their money.
Chuck agrees to bring Nate, but instead lets them capture Dan. The two guys got mixed up once again, leading to another plot twist.
You gotta love Gossip Girl!
Dan ends up tied to a statue in his underwear. The Skulls show up at the bar that Nate is drinking in later and are talking about how they taught Nate Archibald a lesson. When Nate hears, he tells them who he is and that they got the wrong guy. Nate starts a brawl and then goes to rescue Dan.
As a tradition at the Dean’s party, he asks each student a question about who they would like to have dinner with the most, dead or alive.
Chuck lets Serena in on the answer that Blair has been preparing for, and after finding out that Blair got into the party, Serena uses it.
But during the public revealing of the answers, written on index cards, Serena is shocked as the Dean reads her answer – which Blair sabotaged!
The card says Serena would like most to have dinner with Pete Fairman.
Making matters infinitely worse, Blair makes sure to clarify who that is to the stunned crowd by blurting out that Pete Fairman happens to be the guy Serena “killed.” She also throws in the obligatory sex tape reference.
Outside, Blair and Serena start screaming and get into a full-on physical cat fight. After they cool off, Serena says they shouldn’t be friends and Blair agrees. They call a truce and part ways.
In New York, Rufus tells Jenny that she needs to go to school. Jenny agrees but asks her Dad to accompany her on one last errand. The errand happens to be to drop something off at Lily’s apartment.
When Jenny and Rufus enter the apartment, Lily ends up coming out in a revealing black dress that Jenny had crafted for Serena. Lily was just trying it on just to see how it looked.
Rufus is floored by the dress and that Jenny created it. Lily helps to put things into perspective for Rufus and explains that he is lucky to have a daughter so close to achieving her dreams at a young age.
Rufus agrees to let Jenny be home schooled by Vanessa.
Back at Yale, Blair and Serena sort of make amends. Both end up going to the Dean’s office to explain that the other deserves admission more.
The two friends agree to drive home together and end their battling. Serena does get a call back from the Dean who says she can count on early admission to the school (he is looking for the publicity angle for sure, given his fascination with Serena’s new socialite life).
When Serena asks about Blair, the Dean implies that Blair won’t be getting in. But Serena says that she won’t go without Blair.
Nate doesn’t willing to forgive Chuck for his stunt with the Skulls. Nate decides to take the train home with Dan, leaving Chuck alone.
Episode 7: Chuck in Real Life
October 20, 2008
Wow, another great episode. Enjoy the recap below from Buddy TV:
Last week’s episode of Gossip Girl brought us the catfight to end all catfights. The hair pulling commenced after Blair dared to bring up Serena’s murder scandal in front of the dean of Yale, forcing S to get a little physical. The frenemies apologized and worked things out in the end, but how long will their cease fire last? Aside from that scandalous smackdown, Rufus agreed to home school Jenny, Chuck and Nate had an argument over Dan, and Serena wooed Yale’s dean more with her fame than her brains.
On tonight’s Gossip Girl, Blair and Chuck team up to destroy Vanessa after V cooks up a clever blackmail scheme.
Spotted: Bart Bass dropping in on a van der Woodsen breakfast. He and Lily announce some new rules for the family, including required dinner gatherings and an early curfew. Serena isn’t pleased, and she vents her frustrations to Eric on the way to school. S thinks that Lily completely loses her identity every time she finds a new man, but Eric and his new brown hair think it’s a good thing their mom wants the family together. Over in Brooklyn, Vanessa is trying to save a historic building from being demolished, and she thinks she’ll be able to drum up supporters at Constance Billiard.
The bromance between Chuck and Nate is still on the rocks thanks to Dan, and Blair couldn’t be happier. After slinging some barbs at C, B attends a disciplinary hearing for one of the members of the girl mafia. The girl dared to mistake tights for pants, which just proves that she’s been idolizing Lindsay Lohan for a bit too long. Vanessa corners Blair and asks her to help save the historic building, but B thinks that “charity is for diseases and endangered species.” That’s when V whips out the pictures of Marcus and Catherine and threatens to make them public if B doesn’t cooperate. Devious!
Chuck is completely unconcerned over the new rules that are giving Serena a headache. That’s because the rules don’t apply to him. They only apply to S, who Bart is worried will jeopardize an upcoming business deal of his by making a big splash in the papers. After finding this out, S gets dressed to the nines, minus the underwear, and prepares for a night on the town. Meanwhile, Blair reenacts Cruel Intentions by asking Chuck to seduce and destroy Vanessa.
Eric has a boyfriend! He introduces Jonathan to Blair and Serena over breakfast the next day, and they’re both thrilled over the adorable new couple. While Jonathan and Eric hang with the girls, Jenny accuses Dan of not having any guy friends. He proves her wrong by calling his new bro-friend Nate and setting a date. Dan has also joined the soccer team at school, so it’s all guys all the time in his world. Across town, Chuck surprises Vanessa by announcing that he’s ready to buy the old building. She thinks he’s up to some sort of scheme, and of course she’s correct.
Lily is upset that Serena broke curfew the night before, but S thinks her mom has been brainwashed by Mr. Bass. The van der Woodsens aren’t having an easy time, and neither are the Archibalds. Dan shows up at Nate’s place and not only discovers that the mansion has been seized by the police, but also that Nate has been sleeping there with nothing but a sleeping bag and some supplies. While Lonely Boy goes to meet Poor Boy in the park, Chuck tells Blair that he’s not up for their little scheme. However, he rises to the challenge the instant B offers to sleep with him if he succeeds. She obviously has Cruel Intentions on Blu-ray.
After looking over Chuck’s paperwork, V is willing to entertain his offer. The manager of the building wants to meet with him, and if he approves of the deal it’s a go. While Chuck concocts his evil scheme and Serena rants to Blair about Lily, Dan and Nate bond during a walk in the park. N tries to convince Dan that things are fine and that the money is still flowing in, but Dan knows better. N doesn’t tell him about the house, and Lonely Boy decides not to confront him for now. Instead, he whips up a friendly gesture and invites Nate to dinner.
After Chuck and Vanessa visit with Horace, owner of the old building, C starts to feel a bit guilty. He actually likes the guy and is feeling a bit charitable, which makes him doubt his plan. Unfortunately for V, Blair texts Chuck in the middle of his moral quandary, and her words remind him that he has to accomplish his dastardly mission.
It’s time for the big van der Woodsen-Bass housewarming party, and Serena thinks that Bart is the reason Jonathan didn’t attend. Is he scheming to shut out Eric’s new boyfriend, or is he telling the truth when he says it was Eric’s idea not to invite the guy? Serena is determined to find out. Meanwhile, Bart is upset to learn that Chuck plans to buy the old building, which he thinks is a poor investment. C claims he has people he doesn’t want to let down, but Bart doesn’t care. Vanessa overhears the father-son argument and stays to comfort Chuck afterwards.
The less swanky party of the week is happening in the Humphrey loft, where Dan, Nate, Rufus and Jenny are having a night of dinner and Scattergories. Nate leaves in a huff the instant he finds out that Dan knows about the problems with his house. Across town, Eric reveals that he didn’t invite Jonathan to the party because he didn’t want to come out in front of a bunch of reporters. That scandal likely would have seemed dull compared to the scene Serena makes in front of the press. After Lily tries to pass them off as a perfectly happy family, S starts talking openly about her mom’s cokehead ex-boyfriends. Note to Serena: you may want to look up “tact” in the dictionary.
After seeing Chuck and Vanessa swap actual human emotions, B corners him and tries to call off the scheme. She claims that V isn’t worth the trouble, but she’s really just jealous. She runs off, snags V’s camera from her purse, and promptly deletes the pictures of Marcus and Catherine. She also lets V know that the Basshole was just using her, but Vanessa is reluctant to believe her, at least until Chuck fails to deny the allegation. Meanwhile, Lily has finally realized that she wasn’t a great mom back in the day. Eric reveals that his ringtone for her in his youth was “Since U Been Gone,” which is rather hilarious. He’s happy his mom is trying to bond now days, but she can’t expect them to adjust to the Bart situation immediately.
Rufus, who always has the best advice, tells Dan not to give up on helping Nate. He runs off to the abandoned mansion to look for him, but instead finds Serena waiting outside. She was hoping to talk to Nate about her recent drama, but instead she decides to chat with Dan. While they share a sweet moment, Chuck attempts to do something nice by visiting Horace. He still wants to save the building, but V has told Horace all about Chuck’s evil ways, and the man no longer wants his charity. Poor Chuck.
As this week’s Gossip Girl wraps up, Serena apologizes to Lily about embarrassing her at the party. Against all odds, the van der Woodsens are getting along like a normal family. Dan convinces Nate to stay at the Humphrey place instead of squatting in his old place, and Blair agrees to give Chuck his well-earned prize. She puts on some sexy lingerie, lights some candles and prepares to give him the wild night of his life. He wants her to say “I love you” before they do it, but when she refuses he decides to leave. “I chased you for long enough,” he says. “Now it’s time you chased me.” Harsh!
Episode 8: Pret-a-Poor Jenny
October 27, 2008
Recap courtesy of Buddy TV. Enjoy!:
Last week’s episode of Gossip Girl brought a little bit of Cruel Intentions to the Upper East Side. After Vanessa dared to blackmail Blair with pictures of Marcus and Catherine, B recruited Chuck to seduce and destroy Dan’s do-gooder BFF. Unfortunately for Blair, Chuck felt a touch of human emotion and actually tried to help V save an old building. It may be unusual for Chuck to help others, but it’s a regular occurrence for Dan Humphrey, who offered Nate a place to stay after discovering his mansion had been seized by the police. What will happen when word gets out that Nate is staying in (gasp!) Brooklyn?
Tonight on Gossip Girl, Willa Holland (The O.C.) stops by to encourage Jenny to defy Eleanor Waldorf. Does Little J really need help stirring up trouble?
Spotted: Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) having very naughty dreams about Chuck Bass, and I mean VERY naughty. How can Gossip Girl get away with a scene that alludes to both oral sex and masturbation? I think the Parents Television Council just had a collective coronary. After Blair’s done taking matters into her own hands, she runs into Chuck on the street. He once again tells her that she needs to say “I love you” if she wants to get him in the sack, but the only thing she feels is loathing.
Jenny (Taylor Momsen), who has a new makeover I’m not sure I approve of, falls in lust with Nate the instant she sees him shirtless at the Humphrey loft. When he shows up at the design studio later to drop off her sketch book, Little J’s lust morphs into a major crush. Eleanor’s new model, Agnes, thinks that J should go after the pretty boy of her dreams. While Jenny ponders whether Nate can ever see her as anything but a sister, Eleanor asks her to remake her stylish dress using Waldorf fabrics. Some very important buyers are in love with Jenny’s design, and this is her chance to wow them.
Blair interrupts a friendly conversation between Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan, demanding they help her destroy Chuck Bass. Lonely Boy advises she tell Chuck what he wants to hear, but that would give C exactly what he wants. Instead, B decides she’s going to follow Dan’s other piece of advice, which is to stalk Chuck and make herself absolutely irresistibly to him. She kicks off her plan by asking C out for a drink. B tries to be sly and flirtatious at the bar, but Chuck thinks she smells like desperation.
Serena shows up at the gallery looking for Dan, but instead runs into an artist named Aaron Rose. They share a friendly hello and a handshake, which will surely turn into something more complicated before the end of the episode. Meanwhile, Blair calls Dan (Penn Badgley) to bitch about his terrible advice, but he convinces her to keep giving it the old college try. Chuck can’t resist forever, right?
Dan and Serena attempt to enjoy some coffee and conversation, but Blair keeps texting with the details of her master plan. She goes to S’s place, lights a bunch of candles, and patiently waits for Chuck (Ed Westwick) to get home. They start making out, but Chuck sees a text on her phone from Serena and knows what B is up to. There goes the mood. In a bar across town, Jenny hangs out with Agnes, downs some alcohol and flirts with an older photographer. Jenny insists that she has to get back to work to finish copying her dress, but things get complicated once Agnes takes off wearing the original.
The next day, Agnes convinces Jenny that Eleanor is going to rip off her ideas. All of the model’s friends loved J’s dress, so why doesn’t she try striking out on her own? Over in Brooklyn, Serena makes Blair chat with Dan about her problems with the Basstard. D realizes that she’s actually in love with Chuck, so he doesn’t see why she can’t stop with the games and say those three little words to him. Who knew Dan was so wise and sensible? B texts Chuck and tells him that tonight is the night for some hot lovin’.
Eleanor thinks Jenny’s recreated dress is a mess, and she also knows she spent the evening at a bar instead of working. “I should have known better than to give so much responsibility to a child,” she says, immediately pissing off Little J. Jenny thinks Eleanor is jealous and intimidated by her talent, which is never the sort of thing you want to tell your boss. J storms out of the studio in a huff, but not before snagging the green dress that wowed the folks at the fashion show a couple weeks back.
Serena and Blair show up at the gallery to see the opening of Aaron’s art exhibit. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) isn’t thrilled to see B on her turf, even if delusional Dan is under the impression that she’s not that diabolical. While V fills him in on last week’s Cruel Intentions shenanigans, Aaron asks Serena out on a date. He’s scruffy, floppy-haired and kind of charm-free, but for some reason Serena is smitten by him. She turns down the date, but she’s bound to cave eventually.
Jenny runs into Agnes at the gallery, and the model convinces her that starting her own fashion line is a good idea. Nate (Chace Crawford) tries to tell her otherwise, but the last thing she wants is someone treating her like a child. This is all going to lead to an epic Jenny flame out, and I can’t wait to see it. Maybe Rufus will throw her in a mental institution or send her to that boarding school that Georgina Sparks goes to. Meanwhile, B meets C on the roof and still has trouble saying “I love you.” Dan successfully convinced her that Chuck is playing games, so she’s reluctant to make herself vulnerable. Besides, Chuck is the one who broke her heart in the first place, so shouldn’t he be the one to cave?
Nate talks to Aaron to get some info about the older photographer Jenny’s been hanging out with. Aaron says he’s a great guy as long as he’s not dating your sister. Whoops. Blair storms out of the gallery in tears after talking to Chuck, which leads to an argument between Dan and Serena. She thinks he intentionally sabotaged B’s chance at love, but he refuses to feel bad about Blair getting her heart stepped on. After S storms off, Dan confronts Chuck and tells him that B really does love him.
Things are about to get creepy and illegal between Jenny, Agnes and the photographer. He takes pictures while they dance and do a strip show, which is totally going to end up all over the Internet. Has Jenny learned nothing from the various Miley Cyrus scandals? Luckily, Nate knocks on the door and interrupts things before she goes full-on Vanessa Hudgens. J isn’t happy to see her knight in shining armor, but he somehow convinces her to leave before things get ugly. Jenny dares to give Nate a kiss after arguing with him on the street, and instead of shunning her because she’s 15, he starts MAKING OUT WITH HER!! What the hell?! I find that completely implausible and more than a little creepy, but I’ll go with it for the sake of a juicy OMFG-level scandal.
After Dan chases Serena down, she tells him that she wants to go out on a date with Aaron. He approves. She also realizes that she went to camp in Europe with the artist many years ago. As Gossip Girl comes to an end, Chuck opens up to Blair about why they’ll never work as a couple. They love to plot and scheme against one another, and if they tried to live a life where they hold hands and go to the movies it would fail miserably. Chuck would rather wait and give things a go in the future. For now, all Blair gets is a kiss and a touching goodbye.
Episode 9: There Might Be Blood
November 3, 2008
Here’s our weekly fix of Gossip Girl goodness courtesy of Buddy TV:
Little Jenny Humphrey has been stirring up a lot of trouble on Gossip Girl lately. Thanks to the devil on her shoulder named Agnes, Jenny dared to walk away from her job at Waldorf Designs in last week’s episode. Not only did J find the confidence to strike out on her own in the fashion world, but she also had the audacity to plant a kiss on Nate. Some viewers found their shocking make-out session hot and steamy, while others found it completely creepy. Speaking of romance, Blair (Leighton Meester) and Chuck decided to put their mutual lust on the back burner so they can continue doing what they truly love, which is scheming against one another.
On tonight’s Gossip Girl, Jenny and Agnes plan an impromptu fashion show, and Blair babysits a bratty teenager with sex on her brain.
Spotted: Jenny and Agnes pretending to be Project Runway contestants in Brooklyn. While J throws together some awesome dresses for a fashion show, she tells Agnes that Nate has been ignoring her since last week’s May-December smoochfest. Meanwhile, Blair and Serena (Blake Lively) meet with a Yale donor who only seems to be interested in S and her burgeoning fame. S volunteers B to hang out with the donor’s Harry Potter-loving teenage daughter, thinking it’ll earn B some extra Yale points. Young Emma seems like an angel, but she’s really a Lohan in disguise. She’s on a mission to lose her virginity, and if B doesn’t help her she’ll make sure she never gets into Yale. Blair being blackmailed by a conniving teen? We saw how well that worked for Jenny Humphrey.
Dan (Penn Badgley) and Nate walk into the loft just as J is preparing to leave with her variety of dresses. Busted! Dan ponders telling Rufus that Jenny is an unemployed layabout, but his sister begs him not to. He eventually decides to tell his dad the truth, but they arrive too late to stop J, Agnes and Nate from heading to the fashion show. Jenny is going to be grounded for about 85 years after everything is said and done, which should make some Gossip Girl fans very happy.
Blair convinces Emma to attend a charity ball instead of scheming to pop her cherry, but when Chuck runs into the girl he tells her the ball will be a total snoozefest. “It looks like you just hooked yourself a Bass,” he replies after she bluntly asks him to deflower her. He whisks her off in a limo and prepares to work his magic, then returns later to tell B that the girl bolted after he turned her down. The back of the limo is a sacred place, and he just couldn’t bring himself to sex up a strange youngster in such a sacred environment.
B and S find the teen flirting with a skeezy guy in a club, but she once again slips away before they can stop her. The potentially slutty daughter may be gone, but B soon sees her professionally slutty mom making out with a strange man in the corner. Considering that the man isn’t her husband, B knows she has some juicy blackmail material on her hands. Is that Yale calling?
Jenny (Taylor Momsen) sneaks into a party thrown by the New York Philanthropic Society and prepares to unleash her fashion show in front of the unsuspecting elite. Nate (Chace Crawford) poses as her date to stop her from getting tossed out, and even dares to kiss her in front of all the attendees. A nosy onlooker snaps a photo, and that’s all it takes to get Gossip Girl talking. Dan sees the photo online and prepares to crash the party to kick some Archibald ass. He heads to the shindig with Rufus and Vanessa in tow, then ditches them to confront Nate in private. Humphrey somehow resists bashing his former BFF’s face in, but it’s obvious that both their roommate situation and their bromance is over. Say goodbye to the homoerotic undertones!
Blair and Chuck (Ed Westwick) track down Emma and try to convince her to leave her boy toy behind. She’s determined to swipe her V card before her friend Muffy does, but Gossip Girl has already reported that Muffy’s been stuffed. Emma agrees to flee once she realizes she’s lost the big V race, but what she doesn’t know is that Chuck convinced GG to file a false report. Blair bonds a bit with Emma over their shared familial issues, but nearly unleashes the blackmail material on Emma’s mom after the woman acts like a total bitch toward her daughter. B is tempted to destroy the family, but she chooses the high road and simply asks Emma’s mom to spend more time with her kid. It’s not often we see B toss aside juicy blackmail information, so we should really mark this day in the history books.
Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at night! The lights go out in the middle of a speech honoring Lily van der Woodsen at the New York Philanthropic Society, allowing Jenny’s models to storm the place to promote her designs. It seems like a totally awful and disrespectful thing to do, but it does earn Jenny a few fans. One person who isn’t won over is Vanessa (Jessica Szohr), who refuses to join the cheering section after she spots Little J making out with Nate. Jenny tries to run after her, but instead runs into Rufus, who is ready to hand his daughter over to the cops to teach her a lesson about all the trouble she’s caused. Lily (Kelly Rutherford) kills the idea by refusing to press charges against Jenny, forcing the cops to leave empty handed. She actually thought the stunt was brave and exciting, which isn’t what Rufus wants to hear.
The next morning, Nate moves out of the loft, Blair receives a call from the dean of Yale, and Serena enjoys a visit from Aaron. She thinks he has a harem of different girls that he’s hanging out with every day, but he swears he only has eyes for her. As S swoons over her good news, B cheers over the fact that Emma put in a good word for her with the dean. As Gossip Girl comes to an end, Dan decides to head to the dark side and finish writing his story about Chuck, Jenny moves out without telling her family, and Nate skips town. Once you’ve hooked up with every woman in New York, I guess it’s time to get out of the city.
Episode 10: Bonfire of the Vanity
November 10, 2008
Recap of Gossip Girl Season 2, Episode 10 courtesy of Buddy TV. Fire away:
Spotted: Little Jenny Humphrey packing her bags and moving out of Brooklyn. That’s what happened on last week’s episode of Gossip Girl, as J let the success of her impromptu fashion show go straight to her bangs. Also moving on to greener pastures was Nate, who fled to the Hamptons after Dan found out about his fling with the wannabe fashion icon. D may be willing to play Judge Judy and executioner when it comes to N, but he doesn’t deserve the moral high ground after sending his story about Chuck to his advisor. How far is Dan willing to go for a recommendation letter?
Tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl introduces the hilarious Wallace Shawn as Eleanor’s DeVito-esque love interest, Cyrus Rose. There’s nothing like watching B stress over a romance.
Jenny has gone to live with Agnes and her mom, which Rufus is successfully pretending to be cool with. If he stays calm, it’s possible J will come home on her own. While Rufus deals with a lonely household, Dan gets a recommendation letter from his advisor, who was impressed with his story about Chuck. The only problem is that a man from New York magazine wants him to write an expose on Bart Bass. Will Humphrey risk the wrath of the Bassholes to advance his career?
Blair wants to plan her 18th birthday party, but instead she has to meet Eleanor’s new beau, who she hopes will become her dashing new stepfather. B is expecting Cyrus to be a Clooney clone, but instead he’s awesome character actor Wallace Shawn! Blair feels like dying and killing the man at the same time.
Jenny and Agnes pitch their design ideas to a fancy business manager, but the meeting doesn’t go so well. Agnes starts an argument in front of the guy, which J chews her out for as they storm out of the building. Later, Agnes fails to show up at another meeting because she’s too busy dealing with a hangover. That’s when J decides to meet with the man on her own. He says he’ll be happy to work with her if she just gets a permission slip signed by a parent. Meanwhile, Chuck tries to bond with his dad by buying him hockey tickets, but Bart is too busy for his son.
Serena (Blake Lively) is thrilled that Aaron wants her to pose for him, but B just wants to rant about how terrible Cyrus is. He’s more Danny DeVito than Cary Grant, and he even has a catchphrase! While Blair experiences her weekly meltdown, Dan meets with Bart Bass, claiming that he wants to learn more about the construction business. Bart agrees to let him shadow him for a couple days a week, and even invites Humphrey to a hockey game. That Basstard.
“I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me,” B mutters to herself as Cyrus rants about the high price of flowers. Cyrus has gone out of his way to buy Eleanor tickets to a Cyndi Lauper concert, but B isn’t thrilled that her mom will be singing along to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” when she’s supposed to be attending her b-day bash. Eleanor decides the star of Vibes is more important than her daughter, which inspires B to destroy Cyrus’ reputation. She arranges a dinner meeting with the man to grill him for some juicy scandals, but he ends up telling her a touching, heartfelt story about a woman he fell in love with in Vietnam. His love for her was so strong that he broke things off with his wife, which is a fact B immediately passes on to her mother. Of course, she leaves out the part about it being touching and heartfelt, and just makes it sound sleazy and awful.
After doing some digging, Dan (Penn Badgley) discovers that Bart Bass intentionally lit a building ablaze in order to collect insurance money. He asks Bart if the rumor is true, at which point he Bart reveals that he’s been agonizing over someone’s death for 20 years. Before Dan can figure out who or what he’s talking about, Chuck interrupts and reveals that Dan is fishing for info for a magazine story. Bart offers to pay Dan off, but Humphrey is too good for bribes.
Serena takes some beautiful pictures with Aaron, and though she thinks they’re sharing something special, the fact that he meets with a hot model afterwards leaves her confused. That’s kind of boring, so let’s talk about Blair’s 18th birthday party, which, thanks to Cyrus, features a very special concert from Cyndi Lauper! B is so inspired by Cyndi’s presence that she runs off to put in a good word for Cyrus with her mother. I always knew that “She Bop” could bring people together.
Agnes figures out that Jenny has been setting up a business behind her back, which turns the model into a crazy pyromaniac. She gathers all of J’s dresses and starts a bonfire with them. She also kicks J out of her apartment, leaving her homeless. While Jenny mentally plots Agnes’ demise, B shares a nice moment with Cyrus. He planned Cyndi’s entrance so Blair would feel terribly guilty about revealing his secret, and his plan worked perfectly. The lawyer actually outmaneuvered Blair, which immediately earns her respect.
Serena walks in on Aaron having dinner with a model, and he explains that he didn’t know they were exclusive. Ah, that old line. No matter how many women Aaron charms, he still seems totally boring to me. While S storms away from the snooze-inducing artiste, Little J asks Rufus (Matthew Settle) to sign the papers for her business. He refuses, so Jenny is back to slumming it on the streets. The next day, she decides she wants to become an emancipated minor to get around the parental signature issue.
As Gossip Girl wraps up, Dan sends his story to Bart, inspiring the man to speak to his son. He explains that he doesn’t hold Chuck responsible for his mother’s death, though he finds it hard to be close to him because he’s so reminiscent of his mother. While Bart vows to spend more time with Chuck, Blair learns that Cyrus is moving in. Eleanor is willing to take a chance on love with Mr. Rose, and Serena is willing to do the same with his son. She agrees to give boring Aaron (Boron?) another chance. Wake me up when he’s gone.
Episode 11: The Magnificent Archibalds
November 17, 2008
The recap for episode 11 of Gossip Girl season 2, “The Magnificent Archibalds”, from Buddy TV. Fire away:
Spotted: Blair Waldorf clashing with her mother’s new man, Cyrus Rose. Last week’s episode of Gossip Girl found B going head to head with Eleanor’s new beau, who eventually managed to win Blair’s heart by successfully out-scheming her. Also acting devious was Little J, who attempted to cut Agnes out of her business deal, only for the crazy model to retaliate by burning all of her designs. Those flames were much hotter than the chemistry between Serena and Aaron, which continues to be non-existent. Can someone please ship Boring Aaron off to Chino, or at least the New York equivalent?
Tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl is a Thanksgiving extravaganza, which means it’s time for some tasty turkey served up with a side of horrible parenting.
Gossip Girl tells us that Thanksgiving is all about lying, manipulation and betrayal, which sounds about right to me. B isn’t adjusting well to living with Cyrus and his annoying family, and the fact that her dad isn’t visiting for Turkey Day doesn’t help. While B remains down in the dumps, S is thrilled that Boring Aaron is spending the holiday with her. B thinks Serena’s polyamorous paramour is just like Bill Paxton in Big Love, only younger and scruffier. The difference is that Bill Paxton starred in Aliens, and he’s also more exciting to watch than the foppish mannequin we call Boron.
Nate (Chace Crawford) is back in town, but now he’s on the outs with both Chuck and Dan, so his bromances are on the rocks. His dad has also returned to the city, which causes N to shake his bangs in disbelief. Captain Archibald has been living it up in his exotic locale, and he’s come back to invite the family to run away with him.
Jenny (Taylor Momsen) and Eric visit a lawyer about the emancipation, and she’s shocked to learn that she’s required to inform her parents of her decision. J is also the talk of the Humphrey loft, as Rufus has caught on to the fact that his daughter’s no longer living with Agnes. She’s actually been staying with Eric while Lily was out of town, which Lily is shocked to learn. Rufus wants to see his daughter right away, but Lily suggests he wait until he calms down. We wouldn’t want him trying to toss her in the clink again.
Eric opens up to Bart and tells him that things aren’t working out with his new boyfriend, Jonathan. Bart thinks Jonathan may be dating the captain of the swim team on the side, which he knows because he has a PI on retainer. E talks to Chuck about Bart’s snooping ways, wondering what other dirt Mr. Bass has dug up. Chuck introduces his young cohort to the Bass safe, which contains files on every member of the family.
Not only is Aaron boring and scruffy, but he’s also a recovering alcoholic, which Serena (Blake Lively) learns while they have dinner. Does that makes him more interesting? Unfortunately, no. At least things are more fun over at the Waldorf household, where Cyrus has once again offended Blair by eating some of her pie without asking. However, he was nice enough to make reservations at B’s favorite restaurant, so he’s not all bad. B runs to Dorota with her problems, and quickly learns that Cyrus is going to propose to Eleanor during Thanksgiving dinner. B decides to skip dinner to avoid the joyful scene, especially since her mother didn’t warn her of the news in advance.
Lily (Kelly Rutherford) talks to Jenny, telling her that she belongs at home with her dad for the next couple years. J still has crackhead hair and raccoon eyes, so she’s obviously not going home anytime soon. While Lily stumbles upon her emancipation paperwork, Dan (Penn Badgley) and Rufus run into Boron in the supermarket. D is shocked to learn that Boron doesn’t seem to know a thing about the real Serena. Meanwhile, S asks Chuck to help her hide her true self so Boron doesn’t think less of her. Chuck gives her his word, which is about as reliable as an eight-year-old condom.
Nate sees Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) on the street and wonders how he’s managed to alienate everyone in his life. Just as V heads to the Humphrey place for dinner, Rufus gets a call from Lily telling him to come over immediately. She needs to fill him in on J’s plan to emancipate herself, but she doesn’t want to do it over the phone. V likely won’t be able to make dinner anyway, because an FBI agent asks to talk to her about Nate.
Dorota’s ringtone is Britney Spears’ “I’m a Slave 4 U,” which is absolutely hilarious. She wanders the streets with B, trying to think of something to do to avoid going to dinner. Maybe they could hang out with Eric, who is horrified to learn that Bart has all of his secrets stuffed into a file. That Bart is one shady tomato.
After Boron accuses Dan of lying about Serena, the two of them confront S about her mixed up stories. D takes the blame and claims that he lied, allowing S to save face. Meanwhile, Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Vanessa set Nate up with the FBI agent, who explains that his father is planning a shady moneymaking scheme. He’s been threatening Nate’s grandparents, telling them that he’ll steal N away to a foreign country if they don’t give him bundles of cash. It seems that the Captain is broke, and he won’t hesitate to break the law to do something about it.
Rufus (Matthew Settle) learns about J’s emancipation plans, and tries to explain to his daughter that he loves her and wants her to come home. Jenny still isn’t up for touchy-feely monologues, so she rejects the idea. Once that awkward scene wraps up, Lily confronts Bart over his Bond-worthy spy shenanigans. She’s so offended that he dug up dirt on the entire family that she plans to have Thanksgiving elsewhere.
Nate’s dad tries to explain his crazy extortion scheme, but N doesn’t want to hear it. He tells the Captain that he can either sneak away and leave his life forever, or man up and turn himself in. He chooses the latter, allowing the Feds to take him away. Meanwhile, Eric learns Lily’s big secret after reading her file. She was in an institution when she was 19, though the file doesn’t explain why. Does that mean we can look forward to Lily snapping and going crazy later in the season? I hope so.
Jenny finds the inspiration to return home by talking to Blair (Leighton Meester) of all people. B runs into her on the street and tells her that she’s lucky to have a father who loves her so much. After Eleanor shows up to convince her daughter to come home, she offers to take Little J back to the Humphrey loft. Nate’s home life also recaptures a little bit of normalcy now that his father is gone. He makes a date to hang out with Vanessa and plans a drunken night with Chuck, the latter of which sounds like my kind of evening.
As Gossip Girl comes to an end, Blair is surprised to see her father at Thanksgiving dinner. Eleanor invited him to meet Cyrus, hoping for his approval before the big proposal. Over in Brooklyn, the Humphrey family shares a group hug when Jenny comes home and rips up her emancipation paperwork. The raccoon eyes are gone and her hair is actually brushed, so that’s a good sign she’s no longer evil. She even makes amends with Vanessa, meaning that Thanksgiving turned out alright for everyone. That includes Boring Aaron, who doesn’t need to read Serena’s secret file to know he truly likes her.
In the final moments of the episode, V reads the letter N sent to Jenny, and Bart demands his PI uncover why Lily was in a sanitarium. I smell a major scandal cooking, and it smells absolutely delicious!
Episode 12: It’s A Wonderful Lie
December 1, 2008
On of the most awaited episodes ever due to the ChuckandBlair-centric scenes. Heads up to Buddy TV for the recap:
Spotted: Little J ditching the raccoon eye shadow and returning to the Humphrey house for Thanksgiving. Holiday miracles are even possible on Gossip Girl, though another one may be needed to fix Jenny’s unfortunate haircut. The previous episode also found Bart looking into Lily’s past, Eleanor and Cyrus getting engaged, Nate’s dad turning himself in and Aaron being completely boring. It’s nice to know Serena can look past Aaron’s charisma-free exterior and scrubby facial hair to see the snooze-inducing artist underneath.
On tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl, somebody gets horribly injured! Sorry, it’s not Vanessa.
It’s the middle of winter on the Upper East Side, and the Snowflake Ball is the event on everyone’s minds. B is searching for the perfect date, but of course Chuck thinks all her potential suitors are losers. While B and C banter, Serena tells Dan that Boring Aaron (Boron) won’t be accompanying her to the ball. He probably has to head to the 99-cent store to pick up an extra bottle of motor oil for his hair. It looks like Lonely Boy will have to keep Serena (Blake Lively) company instead. Could a rekindled romance be in the works?
Jenny (Taylor Momsen) asks Vanessa for help reorganizing Rufus’s records. It’s not only a friendly gesture, but J’s futile attempt to avoid thinking about her career issues and Nate drama. V, who is suddenly more devious than ever, somehow forgets to mention the letter she stole on Thanksgiving. She also chooses not to open up about her daily make-out sessions with Nate, though they don’t stay hidden for long. A nosy onlooker snaps a photo of the couple kissing on the street, and it’s only a matter of minutes before Jenny sees it on Gossip Girl. Vanessa is so much more fun when she’s being a lying hussy. I suggest she slut it up more often.
Lily (Kelly Rutherford) tells Rufus that she’s been avoiding Bart since learning of his Nancy Drew activities. Nobody likes a snoop, even if the actor playing that snoop once starred as Robocop. Bart corners Lily on the street and tries to apologize for his deceitful ways, but she’s going to have to think things over before she forgives him.
A member of the Constance Billiard girl mafia, or the Billiard Bitches as I like to call them, asks Jenny to design her a dress for the ball. Jenny agrees, and also has a bit of an epiphany after a tense confrontation with Vanessa. With encouragement from the Billiard Bitches, J decides to make V a very special dress for the Snowflake Ball. Vanessa thinks Jenny is trying to be kind and make peace, but Little J has an evil trick up her sleeve. She’s going to make Vanessa regret the day she stole Nate and his impressive man-bangs.
Much to Serena’s dismay, Boron’s ex, Lexi, is in town, and she’s just as annoying as he is. Instead of being a soul-sucking void of charisma like Aaron, she’s overly peppy and confrontational. In other words, she’s perfect for Dan (Penn Badgley). They flirt a bit at the gallery while Serena convinces Aaron to take her to the dance, and eventually the two couples decide to make it a double date. S and D constantly remind me why it’s a bad idea to stay friends with an ex. It only leads to awkwardness.
Speaking of bad ideas, Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair make a deal to choose each other’s dates for the ball. Do they really know what the other secretly desires, or will they fail miserably at choosing potential love interests? To make the bet fair, the duo sweeten the pot. Blair (Leighton Meester) will get to use Chuck’s limo for a month if he actually likes who she chooses, and he’ll get to borrow Dorota if B’s date goes well. Poor Dorota may end up polishing Chuck’s shoes for a month. . .or something else.
After Boron tells Serena that Lexi is a slut who always puts out when she first meets a guy, S starts to feel weird about the double date. She rants to B about how Dan is going to be seduced by a stranger, but Blair is more interested in the fact that Serena has yet to have sex with Aaron. Maybe she’s repulsed by his terrible facial hair? Either that or she’s afraid he’ll bore her to death in the middle of the act. Despite these sensible fears, Serena later tells Aaron that she’s ready to give it up after the ball.
B tasks Dorota to find the perfect date for Chuck, but the maid’s Facebook groups fail to turn up any viable candidates. I wonder if the fictional Dorota has a real Facebook profile out there somewhere. While Blair threatens to bludgeon the help with a Fendi bag, Lily decides to forgive Bart long enough to attend the Snowflake Ball with him. She calls to let him know, but cancels her plan when she finds out he’s in a meeting with his PI. It looks like Bart hasn’t stopped snooping after all.
It’s time for the Snowflake Ball! Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) arrives wearing the dress Jenny designed for her, Lily shows up without Bart, and Blair and Chuck come with their doppelgangers. The people they found to be each other’s dates are basically lesser versions of themselves, as if One Tree Hill’s Lucas Scott cast them to be in Gossip Girl: The Movie, directed by James Van Der Beek. The doppelgangers end up ditching the duo to make out in the corner, proving that the C-list versions of Blair and Chuck get more action than the A-list variety.
Serena and Dan share a dance at the ball while Aaron spends time with his ex. They share an awkward conversation (do they ever have any other kind?) about their upcoming sexual adventures, but Dan’s enthusiasm at bedding Lexi only upsets Serena. Again, this is why you shouldn’t be friends with an ex. While S storms off to wash the icky idea of Dexi sex from her brain, Vanessa tells Jenny that she’s going to end things with Nate. V approaches N and admits to stealing the letter, saying she feels absolutely terrible for coming between him and Jenny. J starts to feel bad about her evil scheme with the dress, but it’s too late to stop her master plan. As Vanessa walks through the middle of the room, someone shines a spotlight directly on her, revealing that her outfit is see-through. As everyone laughs at Vanessa for flashing her bits in public, Nate (Chace Crawford) tells J that he’s appalled by her actions.
Lily pulls Rufus aside at the ball and reveals that she plans to leave her husband. They share a touching moment where Rufus admits that he regrets letting her go, but unfortunately Chuck sees the entire thing. He calls his father in his limo and tells him that Lily is flirting with Rufus yet again. Bart plans to head to the ball immediately, but first he asks his PI what he discovered about Lily’s time in the sanitarium.
Nate stops Vanessa just as she’s about to hop in a cab to head to Brooklyn. He must have liked what he saw under the spotlight, because he still wants to be with her regardless of her letter thievery. They share a kiss while Jenny looks on, feeling sullen as usual. The Billiard Bitches no longer want anything to do with her, but J vows that she’ll be seeing them again soon.
As Gossip Girl comes to an end, Chuck and Blair share a dance and admit that they’ll never be as openly affectionate as their doppelgangers. Meanwhile, Dan and Serena part ways to go have sex with other people, and Lily finds out that Bart has been in a horrible accident. Will he survive next week, or are we destined to be short one Basshole?
Episode 13: O Brother, Where Bart Thou?
December 8, 2008
The best episode for this season so far. What a way to”end” the year since Gossip Girl will have a holiday break and the 14th episode will commence in January. Thanks to Buddy TV as always for the recap:
Spotted: Lily (Kelly Rutherford) has decided to leave Bart because he’s got a private investigator keeping tabs on her misdeeds, as well as the rest of her brood. Meanwhile, Chuck tattles on her whereabouts to daddy dearest. But right before anything scandalous happens, Lily gets the call that Bart’s been in an accident.
Tonight’s Gossip Girl begins with everyone making preparations for Bart Bass’ funeral. They wrote him off the show mighty quickly, didn’t they? With not even a last huzzah. Will we ever find out the secret he dug up about Lily’s institutionalized past?
CeCe is back, yay! She is back to make her grandchildren eat breakfast. Meanwhile, Lily is going nuts making lists and canceling tuna towers for the big funeral. Everyone mourns in their own way, she says.
Chuck (Ed Westwick) is laying low in his hotel suite, in communicado from the rest of the world, including Lily and Blair. Blair (Leighton Meester) is continually annoyed by Cyrus and Eleanor’s wedding planning.
Dan (Penn Badgley) stops by to check in on Serena, who is worried about everyone else. She thanks him for being so stable. Not to be outdone, the punily mustachioed Boron also stops by to offer his own support. Serena (Blake Lively)cuts the tension by telling them both that she wants to go to the funeral with just her family.
Rufus (Matthew Settle) and Lily take a stroll through Central Park, where the foliage is still beautiful, even in December. They do live in a magical Manhattan, don’t they? Lily has a voicemail message that he sent on his way to meeting her that she still hasn’t listened do yet. She admits that she feels tremendous guilt because she was planning to end her marriage right before Bart died. Rufus promises that this time, and he’ll wait for her, for as long as it takes. CeCe, who has followed Lily to the park, witnesses their whole conversation. Alone, Lily listens to the voicemail, and in it, Bart tells her that he knows that she’s going back to Rufus and he knows the reason why she was institutionalized all those years ago. Uh oh, looks like Lily’s well-kept secret will soon be making headlines.
Chuck, meanwhile, meets with Bart’s private investigator and tries to wheedle out of him what he found out about Lily. The PI isn’t sharing yet, though. He’s certain that Lily will be more than interested in this bit of juicy gossip, and he’s holding out for the highest bidder.
At the funeral, Dan and Boron anxiously wait for Serena on the steps of the church. They lamely try to one-up each other regarding Serena’s text messages. Jenny (Taylor Momsen), with her coke-whore mullet in check, shows up to support her BFF Eric (Eric Paolo), but he is sad that his super-cute boyfriend is not there. CeCe tsk-tsks to Lily about her mid-day rendezvous with Rufus at the park. Meanwhile, Chuck is three sheets to the wind, not in a good way, and late to the funeral. Blair and Nate (Chace Crawford) are helping him walk so that he can pay his respects to his late father. Lily thanks Dan for being there, but Chuck, who has just arrived, lashes out at him, demanding to know why he is here. He puts the blame for Bart’s death on the patriarch of the Humphrey clan. CeCe steps in to ask Dan to leave, but Serena tries to insist that he stay. Lily tells Chuck that he should be with his family right now, but with a look of pure disgust on his face, he calls her a whore and says that he has no family. Wow, I’m so impressed with Ed’s acting here. He can do more than look lustful after all!
Dan goes home to Brooklyn where Rufus is rocking out solo to Lincoln Hawk’s only song. Dan sniffs around and asks whether Rufus knows anything about Chuck’s belief that Rufus caused Bart’s death.
The funeral is over and everyone is gathering for upscale comfort food at the Bass-van der Woodsen manse. Cyrus, evidently touched by the uncertainty of life, wants to push up the wedding to tomorrow. Blair, naturally hates the idea, but after a little bit of prodding and an offer from Jenny, who is trying to make amends, to make Eleanor her dream wedding dress – something with a jacket – Eleanor comes around. “Yippee!” says Cyrus.
Boron, by the way, is off in some corner monotoning an invitation to Serena to come to Buenos Aires with him for Christmas. He’s already bought a plane ticket for her. Serena doesn’t say yes right away, but promises to think about it.
CeCe corners Lily and demands to know what Chuck knows about her and Rufus. She instructs Lily to go upstairs and talk to Chuck. Suddenly, CeCe gets a mysterious phone call, summoning her somewhere.
Lily goes upstairs to find Chuck ransacking the place looking for Bart’s will. They trade accusations on who was really to blame for Bart’s death. Lily slaps him, but apologizes. Chuck says that as soon as he finds the will and gets his inheritance, she’ll never have to see him again. He goes downstairs to leave, but his friends try to talk him out of it. Even Eric makes a big, misty-eyed entreaty to stay because he doesn’t want to lose his step-brother. Chuck coldly reminds him that they are not related.
The mysterious person who called CeCe was Bart’s PI. He’s going to tell Lily’s secret to the highest bidder. Lily wants her mother to pay him off to keep him quiet, but CeCe thinks that this might be a good time to come clean and start fresh.
Blair goes after Chuck and begs him to let her be there for him. He tries to blow her off, but she reminds him that they are Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair, and even tells him that she loves him. “That’s too bad,” Chuck says as he gets into his limo and speeds away.
Serena goes to Brooklyn to ask for Dan’s advice on what to do about Boron’s invitation to Buenos Aires. She seems really wishy-washy and unsure of how she feels, and for once, Dan is level-headed and tells her to make up her own damn mind. Who knew I would ever be on Dan’s side for anything?
Blair comes home to find the wedding preparations well under way. Blair breaks down to Cyrus about how she told Chuck that she loved him. She thought that saying it would change everything, but it hasn’t. Cyrus gives her a big hug, as Eleanor looks on fondly.
CeCe comes back from dealing with the private investigator, and now she wants to talk about Rufus. Lily admits that she loves Rufus, but she won’t act on anything right away, for propriety’s sake. Serena comes in, overhearing everything, and figures out why Chuck called her a whore at the funeral. Lily reminds her about how Serena begged her not to be with Rufus in the first season of Gossip Girl because of her own relationship with Dan. This time around, Serena gives her blessing for her mother to be with Rufus because she has just decided that she’s going to try to make things work with Boron. She’s going to Buenos Aires.
Across the bridge, Jenny, who is hard at work on Eleanor’s wedding jacket, sagely advises Dan to use his words to tell Serena that he likes her and doesn’t want her to go to Buenos Aires with Boron. He can tell her so at the wedding.
Uh oh. Turns out that CeCe didn’t do a thing to hide Lily’s secret. Chuck was the only bidder for the secret, so now he’s got the goods.
Serena shows up at the Waldorf manse to tell Boron the good news. Jenny and Dan arrive immediately thereafter, with the garment bag of Eleanor’s wedding trousseau as their excuse. Dan begs Serena not to go to Buenos Aires, but she says that she’s dating someone else now, and plus, their parents are in love, and she doesn’t want to interfere with Lily’s love life anymore.
Eleanor and Cyrus have a touching little wedding ceremony. Oh, there’s Dorota, wearing a crystal headband. Borrowed from Miss Blair, perhaps?
Chuck crows to Lily that he knows her secret. She begs him not to turn his back on the people who love him and not to let it get public. Apparently, there are still a few embers glowing in his heart because he burns the incriminating paper. Then he goes to the one person who truly loves him, Blair, who envelops him in that warm, comforting, asexual kind of embrace that proves how much they really care for each other.
Lily calls Rufus and asks him to go away with her for the holidays, and as Rufus packs up in preparation, CeCe shows up in Brooklyn, out of the blue, to interfere again. She tells him Lily’s secret and explains that if Lily keeps holding onto it, they don’t have a chance in hell of making it. Rufus goes to Grand Central, where Lily is waiting for him, and tells her, “Just tell me one thing. Is it a boy or a girl?” So that’s Lily’s big secret! She and Rufus have a secret love child together somewhere.
Serena and Boron ride to the airport, bantering about neck pillows and drool. Dan calls, interrupting their canoodling, but Serena consciously decides to go with the Boring ‘Stache and doesn’t answer the phone.
The episode ends with B and C spooning – guess who is the big spoon? Later on in the night, Blair wakes up to find Chuck gone and a note in his place. He wrote” “I’m sorry for everything. You deserve much better. Don’t come looking for me. –Chuck.”
XOXO, Gossip Girl
Episode 14: In The Realm Of The Basses
January 5, 2009
Here’s the full recap for episode 14, In The Relam Of The Basses, of Gossip Girl season 2. Recap courtesy of Buddy TV:
Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) jetting off to Buenos Aires with new beau Aaron Rose, who has about as much charisma as he does mustache. Maybe he’ll find a little of both in South America. Before Bart Bass is cold in the ground, Rufus (Matthew Settle) and Lily (Kelly Rutherford) wasting no time making plans to finally reunite… until Rufus finds out that Lily had his secret love child—and, not feeling too lovely about it, confronts her with a “Boy or girl?”
While Serena tangos in the New Year in Beunos Aires, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) has decided to head back to high school. It’s the first day of classes, and Jenny and Eric walk together. Jenny tells him how relieved she is to feel 15 again. Eric tells her that Chuck (Ed Westwick) is still MIA, but Bart’s brother, Uncle Jack, is all over the world looking for him. It’s like a real life game of “Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego?”
Rufus has been gone for two weeks, and greets Dan (Penn Badgley) with a cover story that he’s been looking for a painter. We know differently. Ever the good daddy, Rufus offers to walk Dan to school. Dan agrees, if there are no hugs.
Dorota and Blair (Leighton Meester) are busy reveling in Blair’s next scheme: she’s hosting a party for the Colony Club, an exclusive Upper Eastsider women’s group. The Selection Committee is coming, and Blair wants everything to be perfect. B can’t wait to start the New Year in a new life without Chuck—until Jack texts her saying that he’s bagged the Bass, and B goes off running to meet him.
Back with Eric and Jenny, they see Nelly on the steps, where Penelope and her lackeys show up and threaten to punish Nelly for not bringing their Starbucks. Looks like Nelly’s the new old Jenny Humphrey. Nelly says she can’t defect from the group because they’d make her life hell, and runs off to do the girls’ bidding.
Blair and Dorota meet Jack at his limo. Turns out he found Chuck in Bangkok. Jack drags C out in a very unconscious state and drags him inside. Was this stupor self-induced, or did Jack have to tranquilize C to get him back? Either way, he doesn’t look good. Or smell good either, according to Blair.
Rufus drops Dan off at school, and takes a call Child Services. Turns out he was in Boston for the last two weeks looking for his love child. With no luck. If he wants to know where the kid is, he’ll have to talk to Lily.
Serena and Dan meet in the hallway, and S tells him that she broke up with Aaron three hours into their 15-hour flight to Argentina. (FINALLY!) S knows the “why” is so obvious that she doesn’t even get into it. Lily sent S an email saying that she and Rufus would never be together, so S decided she wanted to be with Dan. Lonely Boy wholeheartedly agrees, and they rekindle with a kiss. “Who knows, maybe third time’s a charm,” GG tells us. “But let’s not break out the bubbly just yet.”
S and B reunite with a hug, and Blair spills that she used the “L” word on Chuck and wishes she hadn’t. Dan comes up from behind, and Blair walks off, threatening to vomit when she sees that he and S are back together. Dan suggests the two of them play a little hooky. On the first day of classes, no less.
Lily goes to the gallery to see Rufus, who demands to know where his child is. Lily lets a male pronoun slip out, but won’t budge on the other details. Rufus declares that he’s a dad, it’s what he does. And now that he knows he has a son, Rufus resolves to find him without Lily’s help. Lily insists that the boy deserves his own life without them.
Meanwhile, Little J and Eric watch as Penelope forces Nelly to buff her yellow pump. J politely steps in and asks for a little humanity, but Penelope, unable to oblige, doesn’t back down. J and E steal Nelly away before P makes her lick the shoe, and the feud is officially on.
Chuck shows up to school having missed all his classes, and B finds him smoking a joint in the middle of the hallway. He’s either so detached or drugged out that he won’t look her in the eye. B forces him to, and doesn’t like what she sees, asking “Who are you?” The head mistress shows up to the stench of hash before he can answer.
S and D are in the mid-stages of undress at Dan’s place when Rufus walks in and forces Serena to leave. D is pissed. As S walks out, Rufus tells Dan that dating S again is a mistake. Now D is really pissed, and storms out after her.
Back at school, B decides to represent C to the head mistress, because he’s in no state to do so himself. As the hearing starts, Uncle Jack shows up to help out. B defends C, saying he’s been through an ordeal and is a victim of temporary insanity. Head mistress asks C to promise that it will never happen again. He replies by taking out another joint and walking out. “So what kind of suspension are we talking about?” says Jack.
The next morning, the Humphrey men aren’t speaking. Little J is confused by the silence, but can’t get any info out of either of them.
At school, the girls hold a trial for Nelly’s freedom, with J playing the prosecution. Penelope defends, saying that terror is their tradition, and one girl quitting will cause a full mutiny in the ranks. Judge Blair cuts them both off with a big “Who Cares?” and says she’s grown out of this. Confused, the P and her gang regroup, and P talks about sending Nelly home in a body bag. This new queen is a bit too crazy, even after Blair.
S consoles B, saying the weed incident is just a normal Chuck move. No, Blair says, this time it’s different. When she looked in his eyes, she couldn’t see Chuck anymore.
Little J, Eric, and Nelly are sitting at Penelope’s table. P, Hazel, and Isabel show up, not too pleased. The heroes hold their ground as the rush comes in, and all the tables begin to fill. Out of options, P calls her daddy and tattles, saying there’s “ a girl bullying” her.
B knows where to find Chuck, and sure enough, he’s sandwiched between two skanks at Victrola, which he’s bought back for a high price. C says he’s hosting a party at the club tonight. B begs him to stop this madness, that it isn’t him. C says Bart was the only one who saw him for what he was, and it’s time for B to let go of her fantasies about him. C dismisses her with the same unsettling detachment as before.
D comes home to snoop around for evidence of whatever Rufus is keeping from him. He finds a map of Boston with adoption agencies marked. D calls one of the numbers, and the light bulb above his head seems to flicker for a brief second. But only for a second.
B comes home to cry over Chuck for about 10 seconds before her party starts. She’s back to normal by the time the parade of old women in pastel argyle sweaters show up to grill her for club admissions. She’d rather create a new life with these women than let Chuck destroy her, B tells S. It’s survival.
Jenny rants about being called a bully to the head mistress, which causes Nelly to spill that Penelope is sleeping with her lawyer dad’s junior partner. J’s eyes are a-twinkle: it’s exploitation time!
Dan confronts Rufus about the map, but Rufus brushes him off, and Dan storms out to find Chuck, whom he knows has the truth about this big secret that he just can’t seem to piece together, even with the overwhelming evidence in front of him.
C’s burlesque extravaganza is in full swing. Dan shows up, and even in his altered state, Chuck is able to use the words “hoi polloi” and “Dickensian” against Lonely Boy, before finally telling him that he’s not the first-born Humphrey. Guess that’s a wrap for you and Serena, Chuck tells Dan. “Sharing a sibling is a bit much, even for me.”
Meanwhile, B is doing her best to impress, when the ladies of the Colony Club start to grill her about Serena, Chuck, Bart, and all her other unsavory acquaintances. B starts to throw her friends under the bus, and then stops. B stands up, says Chuck needs her, and scolds the women for being more childish than high schoolers. Way to go, B!
Back at Victrola, Chuck is seeing the room in a slo-mo haze, and Jenny’s gotten Nelly to spill the beans about Hazel and Isabel, and threatens to send it all to Gossip Girl if they don’t let go of Nelly. P relinquishes her throne to J, who now finds out she’s just won queen. J doesn’t want queen, so P takes it back—and takes Nelly too, who was just riding Jenny’s coat tails, hoping for a new master. When Nelly realizes P is her only key to attending the upcoming collegiate party, she rushes back to lowly serfdom.
Rufus tells Lily that he wants to hate her, but doesn’t, and promises that her kids won’t either. Lily says giving up her son has been a hole in her life, and agrees to help Rufus find him.
B runs over to the club and runs into Uncle Jack. They rush up to the roof, where they find drunk Chuck, leaning over the ledge, looking ready to jump. They try to talk him down, but C says his father never wanted him, and yells “I’m Chuck Bass! No one cares.”
“I do.” Blair says, “I’ll always be here.” She convinces him to come down, if not for himself, then for her. C takes her hand and gets off the ledge. They embrace, and C apologizes.
Rufus calls Dan and asks him not to tell Serena about their long lost son, whom they are going to look for right now. It’s Lily’s secret to tell. Dan reluctantly agrees.
As the episode ends, Jack takes C home with him, saying he’ll have a better chance of keeping C around than anyone else. “He can’t know what happened on New Years,” Blair tells Jack as they leave. Uh oh. We knew this Uncle wasn’t so charismatic for no reason. Sounds like Blair’s New Years kiss was anything but innocent.
Lily and Rufus get into a car, off to search for their son, and Gossip Girl reminds us, “The past is always with us, just waiting to mess with the present.”
Episode 15: Gone With The Will
January 12, 2009
Episode 15 recap of Gossip Girl season 2, courtesy of Buddy Tv as always. Happy reading!
Spotted last week on Gossip Girl: Dan (Penn Badgely) frets about incest, leaving Serena (Blake Lively) in the dark; Blair (Leighton Meester) pulls Chuck (Ed Westwick) off the ledge (literally and figuratively) after Bart’s death; Rufus (Matthew Settle) and Lily (Kelly Rutherford) go to Boston to find the son Rufus never knew he had; and Little J (Taylor Momsen) shows she’s not so little anymore when she gives the Girls of the Steps a taste of their own malicious medicine.
This week, Gossip Girl begins with Chuck as GG reminds us that for some Upper East Siders, death has a silver lining… or a gold one, in this case. Chuck is poised to be Bass the Billionaire before he hits 18. Jack and Blair are making their way to the reading of Bart’s will when they run into each other outside—Chuck asked Blair to come “for support.” (Aww…) A not-so-cryptic conversation between Blair and Jack reveals, once again, that something lecherous happened between them on New Year’s. Jack toys with her, asking her out, threatening to tell Chuck, and being generally creepy. Blair maintains her cool and says that “it” meant nothing. Chuck and Nate (who’s also there for support) break up their argument, and Jack says how excited he is to soon be running Bass Industries. All four go inside to hear Bart’s last wishes.
Meanwhile, out in Brooklyn, Jenny talks at Dan about how she thinks Rufus and Lily are on a romantic getaway (to Boston?), and maybe even in love. Dan says he knows otherwise, but Jenny shrugs him off.
The reading of the will commences. Chuck, Uncle Jack, and Lily’s lawyer await the results. First, we find out that Jack is now Chuck’s legal guardian. Chuck’s fine with this, as long as there’s no curfew and Jack lets girls sleep over. Second, we find out that Chuck will have access to his ridiculously large inheritance when he hits 18. Third, 49% of the company belongs partly to Lily, and partly to the board—leaving 51% for the new head of the company. Bart’s lawyer hands a letter to Chuck. Chuck refuses to read it and walks out, but not before Blair can snatch it out of Jack’s hand and read to young Bass that he’s the new CEO of Bass Industries. Chuck was expecting insults from beyond the grave—but instead got something far worse: a burden. Chuck scoffs and offers the job to Jack, who all too happily accepts.
Eric and Serena walk to school and talk about their boy problems. Eric complains about Jenny’s third-wheeldom when he wants alone-time with Jonathan. Serena thinks Dan is avoiding her because he is being paranoid about Rufus and Lily being back together. Eric walks up on Jenny and Jonathan making gag-me movie marathon plans, and Jenny invites Eric as an afterthought. As Jenny giggles and squeals that Eric and Jonathan have the same backpack, Eric looks ready to use his as a smothering device.
Serena catches up to Dan in the courtyard, and tells Dan she knows he is avoiding her because he believes Rufus and Lily are back together. But of course we all know it’s because he’s busy drawing their family tree and debating whether he can justify some branch-to-branch contact. While acting weird, he denies acting weird. Serena reminds us that Lily has hooked up with every rich dude in Western civilization, including Nicolas Sarkozy. Dan unconvincingly promises that things are good between them, they share an asexual peck.
Dan calls Rufus, who tells him that Lily will tell Serena and Eric about their half-brother when they return from Boston. Penelope, Isabel, and Nelly overhear Dan telling Rufus that he doesn’t like lying to Serena–but not about what. Penelope says they need to tell Serena; Nelly says they don’t know enough and at the very most should tell Blair. P reminds Nelly that she’s on probation, and says they’re on their own since Blair is always with Chuck. She gets out her phone. Uh-oh.
Blair catches Chuck on his way out the door and convinces him to consider running Bass Industries. Bart believed, and Blair believes, that he is up to the challenge. Start by reading the rest of letter, she tells him.
Meanwhile at Constance, all the buzzing and beeping can mean only one thing: there’s a rumor on Gossip Girl that Dan is cheating on Serena. GG name-drops Georgina Sparks, and asks for help tracking down the juicy details.
Chuck goes to Jack’s office to tell him he’s reconsidered, and wants to take the CEO position. “I owe you my life,” Chuck tells Jack, but this is something he needs to do. Jack reminds us that he’s not a fit legal guardian when he reminds his nephew that it was Chuck who saved him from almost taking home a tranny. Eww. They get into a fight, Chuck insisiting that he’s ready to head the company. Chuck offers him a job in New York, and Jack walks out.
Later, Jack calls Blair to apologize for his actions, and says he wants to make it right by throwing Chuck a party. Blair says she’s not interested in helping, because Chuck already knows that he has her support. Jack makes a convincing sob story about wanting to do something nice to make up for his bad reaction that morning. And he wants it to be a surprise party. Blair, unable to resist the party-planning temptation, offers to organize a brunch the next morning at The Palace.
In Boston, with the adoption agency’s help, Rufus and Lily have tracked down the adoptive parents of their son, but the closed adoption means that they can’t contact him directly. The best the agency can do is to ask the adoptive parents to meet Rufus and Lily. Rufus says to go for it, Lily hesitantly agrees, and they wait for a phone call.
Blair is doing a bad job convincing Serena that she and Chuck are just friends when they see the Lonely Boy rumor on Gossip Girl. Blair doesn’t believe it: Who would want him? Serena figures out that the Headbands are at fault for the lie, and tells Blair to keep her minions in check.
Vanessa and Dan are in a candy store. As Dan confides in V about the half-brother saga, Nelly Yuki walks in, but instead of sweets, she grabs an opportunity, stealing Dan’s phone, which he’s laid aside carelessly while he confesses (Serves him right. Who really does that in New York?) Smiling like Charlie in the chocolate factory, but instead of a golden ticket, Nelly’s found her golden opportunity to get back on Penelope’s good side.
Vanessa tells Dan to stop avoiding Serena before he ruins their relationship. A few New York mini-plastics drop into the candy store (just to look?) and scold Dan for cheating on Serena. Vanessa is happy that they know her name. As she should be.
Jack wants to congratulate Chuck on being head of Bass Industries by taking him out for a night on the town. Chuck resists, saying he has dinner plans with Blair. Jack opens the door to three escort-looking hot ladies in fur coats, telling Chuck he doesn’t want to entertain his guests by himself. Chuck’s smirk reveals that he may have been persuaded to reschedule with Blair after all. What’s it going to be, Chuck? Gossip Girl asks. Business and Blair, or cocktails and coquettes? Chuck chooses to ask Blair for a rain check.
Serena goes to Vanessa to find out what Dan’s hiding–but Vanessa won’t talk. Vanessa says, whatever it is, Dan will tell her, because he’s not one for secrets. Serena says she used to think that, but now she’s not so sure… when does this couple not have trust issues?
Feeling guilty for lying to Serena, Vanessa sends Dan’s phone a (very detailed) text saying that he needs to tell Serena about their brother. Penelope reads the message, and with their brainpowers combined, the Headbands are able to piece together what “your brother” means.
The next day, Lily and Rufus are waiting around for adoptive parents to call them back. Rufus gets the call from the agency, telling them that the parents don’t want to meet, now or ever.
It’s time for Chuck’s brunch, and members of the Bass Industries board are there to meet their new CEO. Serena asks about the canceled “date,” but Blair maintains that she and Chuck are still just friends. Jenny and Dan show up, Dan limping from the dinosaur of a cell phone he’s using now that his is “lost,” and Lonely Boy enthusiastically greets his girlfriend.
Jack walks in without Chuck, saying the new head is hard at work upstairs. Penelope wants Blair’s permission to release the dirt she has on Dan, and without finding out what, Blair consents just to get Penelope off her back. Jack asks B to show a few board members upstairs to meet Chuck.
Jenny and Eric bicker like the siblings they don’t know that they sort of are. Eric says he wants alone-time with his boyfriend. J calls him conceited. E calls her annoying. GG blast-time again: this time, everyone at the brunch checks their phones, including Jenny, Eric, and Serena. Gossip Girl reports that Serena and Lonely Boy share a sibling. (Finally! I was so ready for this secret to come out.) Serena storms out, shamed and confused. Blair and the Bass board members walk in on Chuck, two topless women, and enough pills on his desk to tranquilize a rhino. Oops! You know what they say about first impressions…
Chuck comes downstairs, tucking in his shirt. Blair confronts him about his lies, and he tells her to stop playing the wife. Dan catches up to Serena and explains why he lied, saying that he couldn’t bear to be around her if he couldn’t be honest. Serena needs time to process this alone.
Back in Boston, Rufus wants to wait, hoping the parents will change their minds. Lily wants to go back to New York. She doesn’t want another minute trapped with Rufus, scared that he’s going to hate her… when she’s still in love with him. They kiss. The mood changes from anger to arousal. [Commercial break for explicit content] Rufus and Lily got it on! Now they’re lying in bed, talking about the golden days of rock ‘n’ roll (yes, again). By the way, Rufus shirtless? Not bad. Rufus gets a call from the adoptive father, saying he wants to meet them without his wife’s consent.
Chuck confronts Jack about the Brunch-fiasco. Jack admits that he was bitter about being stuck in Australia, and resented Bart for the same reasons Chuck did. And now, he has his vengeance: Chuck violated the morality clause in his contract. Jack already talked to the board, and he’s in charge now.
Rufus and Lily meet with the adoptive father, who tells them that Andrew (their son) died in a sailing accident 1 year ago. It was too painful for his wife to tell them. Lily asks if the boy was happy, and the father says the boy always had a smile on his face.
Dan goes to see Vanessa, and Nate is there waiting for her so they can go out for their anniversary. Nate commiserates with Dan: he knows it sucks to have the painful details of your personal life blasted all over the island, but you find out who your real friends are. Turns out he’s talking about Dan, and Nate apologizes about the whole Jenny thing. The bros make amends.
Chuck shows up to B’s with flowers, but it’s too late for him. Chuck is the only one who didn’t’ believe in himself. Blair only wanted to be there, but when he called her his wife, he made it sound like the ugliest word in the world. “I’m done,” she tells him, throwing the flowers back into the elevator.
Serena and Eric go to Dan and Jenny’s. Serena and Dan decide that they love each other enough to make it work. If Paul Rudd and Alicia Silverstone could do the romantic-step-siblings thing in Clueless, then they can, too! Lily and Rufus walk into the apartment, holding hands, to see their four children acting like a happy little family.
And oh yeah: afraid they’d use their money and influence for evil, the adoptive parents lied to Rufus and Lily. The kid’s not dead.
Episode 16: You’ve Got Yale
January 19, 2009
Episode recap courtesy of Buddy TV. Enjoy!
Spotted last week on Gossip Girl: Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) becoming the head of Bass Industries and then losing the position as quickly as he got it, all because of a pesky morality clause; Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan (Penn Badgely) somehow overcoming the back-and-forth double-weirdness of learning “You share a sibling—oh no, you don’t” and “Your parents aren’t dating—oh yes, they are.” Oh yeah, and if you usually watch this show with your eyes closed and your ears plugged, then I should tell you that Blair (Leighton Meester) really, really wants to go to Yale. Really.
This week, we tune in to see Dorota, Daddy Waldorf, and his French mister greeting Blair on “The Big Day”—which is Yale Day, when Yale sends out their decision emails to early admissions applicants. Blair thinks she hears Dorota whimpering with grief, but it’s actually her new bulldog, Handsome Dan, the cutest good luck present in the world. Blair immediately changes the name to Handsome. It’s a jolly breakfast gathering, but Blair manages to pipe in that Chuck Bass is still dead to her. Good to know.
Serena and Dan meet before school, and Dan worries that he won’t get into Yale. S brushes off his worries, and they lament their twisted family situation a little bit more, until Rufus and Lily come downstairs, quite obviously from night of bedroom excitement. S and D leave for school, all the more weirded out. Eric walks in and reminds the kissing couple that Lily’s room is right above his. Seems the sexually active parents kept him up last night. Eww. Lily convinces Rufus to attend the opera tonight, to declare their relationship to the world. At least the opera-attending world.
Cut to Chuck, who is working on his latest scheme to dethrone Uncle Jack by phoning in for some “young and unstable” mail-order hookers. Jack walks in, and says that even though he’s still adjusting to his new job, he’s doing better than Chuck would. Jack tells Chuck to go to the opera tonight, since he’s the public face of the company.
Back at Constance, S and D spot the new Shakespeare teacher, Miss Carr, whom Dan points out could pass for a student. (Foreshadowing much?) Turns out Miss Carr—oh, I mean Rachel, except that Rachel shouldn’t ask her students to call her Rachel if she ever wants to look over 17 years old, should she?—turns out Rachel is from Des Moines, 2 years out of college after doing Teach for America, and is totally oblivious about New York. (Brooklyn? What’s Brooklyn?) Oh, and she’s cute. Of course she is.
What do you call a Cougar who’s only 24 years old? A… puma? I ask because I’m calling it right now: Miss Carr is a sly little teacher puma. The question is: Who will be her Pacey Witter?
Blair is forcing all the Girls of the Steps to “Refresh! Refresh! Refresh!” her email on their phones until the message from Yale arrives. Even Nelly Yuki, who applied to Yale herself. Too bad you lost all my sympathy when you turned into a conniving little snake in the last two episodes, Nelly. It’s nice to see Blair back in action as Queen B. It’s the natural order. “Refresh!”
Chuck goes to see Lily, who is picking out gowns for the opera. He tells her that he wants her help on a project. And then, before telling her any specifics whatsoever, he asks if she’s in. Because that makes total sense: who would ever say no to providing a favor to Chuck Bass without knowing at all what they were getting into?
All the “Refresh!”-ing stops: the emails are in. The final count: Dan—accepted, Serena—accepted, Blair—waitlisted. Uh oh. S lies and tells everyone that she was waitlisted, to avoid Blair’s wrath. B tells her minions that she needs to see the headmistress…
…RIGHT NOW!
Chuck and Lily are plotting Jack’s downfall. So far Chuck’s usual methods aren’t working. You know, planting coke in his gymbag and setting him up with tranny hookers, that sort of thing. Lily says that Chuck needs the Bass Board on his side, and she’ll meet with them if he’ll consider moving back in with the van der Woodsens. Chuck tells her not to hold her breath on that one.
Blair meets with Headmistress Queller, who informs Blair that if the other Constance student who got into Yale turns down her spot, then Blair will get it. She tells Blair to keep up the good work, but won’t tell her who the other girl is. (You caught that the other girl is Serena, right?)
S confides in Rachel that she got into Yale, but doesn’t think it’s a good fit. She applied because of Dan, and thinks Yale is accepting her for the wrong reasons (Ya think, Miss Page Six?). Rachel tells S that she needs decide for herself, and to go to the right school for her. Blair informs S that she’s out to find the witch who took her Yale spot. Rachel hands Blair a paper and ducks out. Serena gets a phone call from the Yale Dean’s Office asking if they can issue yet another press release, this time saying she’ll be joining their freshman class. Uhh…
Lily meets with a Bass board member, but the best they can do is try to temper Jack’s stupidity. Jack walks in, and unable to make up his mind, insults and hits on Lily in equal measure. They’re doing a really good job of making me hate this guy, maybe even more than I hate Georgina Sparks. And that’s saying a lot. Jack’s nose starts bleeding. Seems he’s been snorting more coke since he got his new job. And he’s not doing the best job as CEO? Well that’s a shocker.
Blair is livid that she got a B on her last Shakespeare paper. She confronts Miss Carr—I mean Rachel, trying to get a Second-Semester-Senior free pass. Rachel stands her ground, and now B’s worried that the B-grade will keep her out of Yale.
The Basstard (Jack) is untouchable, so Lily tells Chuck that it’s time to get dirty. Lily is calling his Australian contacts for any dirt. Lily takes a call from Rufus, and pisses Chuck off all over again. Chuck tells her that if she really meant to be his family, she wouldn’t parade her ‘mistress’ around in public a month after Bart’s death.
Serena tells Blair and Dan that she turned down Yale. Blair is thrilled, and Dan is… less so. Dan storms off.
Eric is extolling on the beauty of high F arias as Rufus literally reads an “Opera for Dummies” book. It’s an Opera for Amateurs session, because Rufus wants to impress Lily and her snobby friends. Eric gives Rufus talking points on “The Magic Flute,” which is what Rufus thinks they are seeing that night.
Isabel and Penelope are playing Angel and Devil to Blair’s conscience, and (raise your hand if you’re surprised here) the Devil wins. Blair calls Rachel and invites her to dinner at the Boathouse at 6, and the opera at 8. The new teacher accepts. Blair giggles with devilishly glee.
At the opera, Rufus and Lily make romantic plans about cross-family college visits as Dan and Serena look on awkwardly.
I know I left them out until now, but this is finally when it got interesting: Vanessa got nose-bleed opera tickets for Nate, and then finds out that he’s got a private box instead. They sit in the nosebleeds for the sake of Vanessa’s pride, until an old woman with hard candy and a case of the plague sits next to them. They move to the box, where they can make out in semi-privacy. (Yawn.)
D confronts S about Yale, sad that she made the decision without telling him. They worry about the future of their relationship, especially their PDA-engaging parents. They agree to power through, and that the parental relationship can’t last. Which probably means that it will.
R learns that he studied the wrong opera, but L is just glad that he tried. As the opera starts, Queller calls Blair to say that Miss Carr made her a deal that Blair will get an A in the class if she keeps her work up all semester. Wherever Blair sent Rachel instead of the opera must be bad, because she bails on the opera to go apologize to her one shot at Ivy glory.
Lily meets with Bruce, the Bass family lawyer. Turns out Lily was going to adopt Chuck before Bart died. Bart signed the papers, and if Chuck signs them, Lily will be his legal guardian. Which means that Jack will immediately lose his CEO position… because that’s how the law works on Gossip Girl. C signs. “This doesn’t make us family, just even,” he tells her. Jack cuts in on the meeting in the lobby, and hears that he’s lost the company again. He’s pissed. The legal system was probably more forgiving in Australia.
Blair invited Miss Carr to a closed restaurant, never intending to meet her there, an hour after the opening curtain at the opera. Blair apologizes, and promises she’s learning not to act out—it’s just a reflex. B asks for forgiveness, and Rachel accepts her apology but turns down her offer for another opera ticket. When Blair leaves, she puts in another call to Queller.
Jack sneaks into the ladies’ room behind Lily and locks the door. He gets in her face and threatens her for ruining his chance to head the company. He’s crazed and obviously high. Rufus and Dan look around for Lily, and Chuck figures out that the long line and locked door mean something is wrong. Inside the room, Jack pushes Lily against the wall, groping, kissing, and choking her. Chuck and Security break in. Chuck punches Jack, who is escorted out. Lily thanks Chuck for saving her.
The next morning, Lily is shaken by the attack, but doing well. Chuck enters, and Rufus shakes his hand. Lily didn’t press charges against Jack, but sent him back to the Outback as soon as possible. Lily was impressed with Chuck last night, and has faith that when he’s ready, he will do wonders as the head of Bass Industries. At age 18, he’ll get everything. She doesn’t want the business, just Chuck as a part of her family again. Chuck finally forgives Lily for Bart’s accident, and says he’d like to move back in with them.
Rachel shows up at the Humphrey art gallery, where Dan’s working the espresso machine. They share some witty banter. It’s then that I realized Dan and Rachel have a lot in common: a love of literature, an outsider complex, and an unconcealed sense of moral righteousness. You knew the S and D couple-bliss couldn’t last for long…
Rachel sure pulled a Dan Humphrey when she told Queller about Blair’s little plot, and now Blair’s Yale admission is on the line. She also has… gasp! Detention. Blair vows to go Black Ops on Miss Iowa. And the cold, dead look on her face shows she’s dead serious. I can’t wait for Blair’s next bloodbath!
Episode 17 : Carrnal Knowledge
February 2, 2009
Here’s the full recap for episode 17 of Gossip Girl season 2 entitled Carrnal Knowledge. Thanks to Buddy TV as usual:
Spotted: The girl who has everything finally gets something she’s never had before: Detention. And she’s not taking her community service lying down.
This week on Gossip Girl, Blair complains to Serena about her punishment, while forcing Dorota to do the dirty work in the park. Pa Waldorf comes to meet his daughter with a picnic basket, and commends her on taking her punishment so maturely. Dorota, hands still sore from the manual labor, tells Blair that her “martyr act” stinks like the garbage she’s got Dorota picking up.
Serena goes to surprise her teacher, Rachel Carr, at her favorite breakfast spot, but finds Dan there already, bonding with Carr about being poor and lonely. Serena was going to show Carr her King Lear essay, but Miss Carr’s creepy adoration for Dan’s Cordelia shout-out in a short story (awkward literary reference #1) makes S think better of it, and she bails.
Meanwhile on the bourgeois side of town, Chuck Bass wakes up with vague memories of masked women. There’s an insignia on his wrist; a stamp rather than a tattoo, we hope. Chuck calls Nate and asks him to meet at a strange address.
Blair runs into Carr outside school, where Miss Carr tries to relate Blair’s litter pick-up to Henry David Thoreau’s On Walden Pond (that’s #2). Blair approaches the Plastics and demands their help taking down the “Commie Corn Husker,” but they refuse to help, afraid of getting their own trash duty. Blair gets all Gladiator General Maximus on them, giving a rousing little speech about how their petty manipulation will “echo through eternity.” The Headbands aren’t buying it… until Head Mistress Queller forgets she has an intercom system, and takes to the front steps to tell the students there’s a new rule at school: no cell phones during school hours. Blair’s lackeys see Miss Carr happily confiscating Blackberries, and sign on for take-down.
The Plastics meet in the women’s bathroom, where Blair has Dorota meet her with a designer bag full of new cell phones for her friends. Harmony wants to check Gossip Girl, and Nelly wants to check the Dow, but Blair insists: all texting efforts go toward finding dirt on Miss Carr.
Back to the Basstard: he’s investigating “the Chuck Bass version of Narnia” back at the with Nate and Vanessa. Only it’s not a wardrobe, but a big, fancy (and deserted) Manhattan mansion. Mr. Bass received an invitation in the mail to the “ultimate private gentleman’s club,” where he met the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen (even in a mask) and did naughty things to her. But he doesn’t remember much, and woke up alone in a hotel room. Now he wants to figure out where he was, and with whom.
The Headbands are having a hard time lassoing up any dirt on the Midwestern Mother Theresa, so Blair tells them to make something up. Before they can get their tiny brains warmed up, she sees Dan and Miss Carr talking in the hallway… or the Dan Humphrey version of talking to a woman, anyway, which involves fumbling over compliments and stuttering uncontrollably. Carr seems to encourage his awkward half-flirting. Before you can say “Cougar,” Blair’s got her new phone out (in the middle of the hallway—bold, B!) and texts Gossip Girl a Mary Kay Letourneau alert on Miss Carr.
Dan immediately starts getting high fives from his fellow dudes, and can’t figure out why. Jenny finally clues him in that there’s a rumor on the web that he’s hot for teacher. Dan denounces the rumor to Jenny, and then to Serena, and they figure out that Blair must be behind it.
Nate and Vanessa make puppy eyes at the piano while Chuck tries to jump-start his memory in the mansion. Chuck points out a framed photo of his masked maven holding a newborn. Must be the family’s mother, Vanessa astutely observes. They find a realtor’s card for place, and Chuck calls her up.
Dan sneaks up on Blair in the Constance ladies room. Blair makes a snide remark about Dan having lady parts, and denies any knowledge of the rumor. Meanwhile, Serena tells Miss Carr about her writing insecurities, brings her up to speed about the rumor, and gives her a Wikipedia-style lesson on Gossip Girl: “It’s a website where a girl posts gossip. Or at least we think it’s a girl.”
Chuck convinces the realtor to let him see the mansion owner’s file. He calls and asks who the woman was, and finds out he met a nanny named Elle who nurses in Connecticut. Chuck leaves his number and hopes she’ll call back.
Blair is called into Queller’s office, where Miss Carr awaits. The judgment is swift and harsh: on her way to Yale, Nelly Yuki threw Blair under the bus. Blair gets expelled for putting the school’s rep in jeopardy.
Blair retreats to her bed, where she laments the imminent revocation of her Yale acceptance. Pa Waldorf wants to know if Blair posted the rumor. She says yes, but that it wasn’t a lie. He promises to talk to his lawyer and that she won’t be punished for telling the truth. Back in Brooklyn, Vanessa calls Dan Templeton (from Charlotte’s Web, and literary call-out #3) for “ratting out” Blair to Miss Carr. Dan says she brought it on herself. Rufus interrogates Dan about the truth to the gossip, as Vanessa receives a mask and a message in the mail.
Serena meets Rachel in the park, where she asks for clemency on Blair’s behalf. Miss Carr doesn’t budge on the punishment, and leaves for a “meeting,” but also leaves her planner on the park bench. Serena finds the address of the meeting and follows her. S calls B and breaks the bad news. B tells Dorota to give Handsome to a homeless man, because she doesn’t deserve her cuddly Yale present.
Rufus and Lily walk into an emergency parents’ meeting about imminent Online Honor Codes (look out, Facebook), and Harold and Rufus exchange a few defensive dad words before going in.
Miss Carr’s “meeting” is actually with Dan for coffee, because she wants to thank him for being her friend. (Yeah, because meeting the student you’re accused of having an affair with at a romantically-lit dinner establishment is a GREAT idea.) They have a veiled conversation about how they both have crushes on each other, with Rachel telling Dan he can call her in five years. S approaches the window of the restaurant just as Dan strokes Miss Carr’s hair back and goes in for a hug. She catches the moment on her phone and walks away just as Carr rejects the hug, and finally catches the “maybe this is inappropriate” train on her way out.
Meanwhile, Chuck continues his Eyes Wide Shut mystery, and meets Elle. She informs him that the invite wasn’t for him, but for his dad (RIP Big Bass), who was a member of an elite group of classy lechers. Elle is a nanny by day, club escort by night, and when she found out that she’d hooked the wrong Bass, she drugged his drink and left him in a hotel room hoping he wouldn’t remember her. She’s scared the group will do something drastic if they found out she brought in an outsider, and asks him not to contact her again.
Vanessa puts on her mask and heads to Nate’s. Turns out he sent it to her, and they head into his house for some kinky masked monkey love, while I fall asleep from the pure boredom that is their relationship.
S goes to B, says she was right about Miss Carr, and shows her the proof. Blair sweeps off to the parents’ meeting with the photo, and tells Dorota to get her dog back from the homeless guy.
Back at the meeting: the Constance parents debate slander issues, when Blair rushes in and asks Queller to check her email. She pulls up the photo on the projector, and Rufus and Lily look on in shock. B asks Q to check her email, and the head mistress pulls up the photo of Dan and Rachel at their candlelit coffee date. Outside the meeting, Serena confronts D, who explains he was just being “friendly.” The meeting gets out: Miss Carr got fired, Rufus thinks Dan is a perv, and Blair is back in at Constance. Serena admits that she wanted to believe the worst about Dan because deep-down she wants to break up. They hug it out and let their relationship go (again).
Dan tells Rufus that Miss Carr shouldn’t have been fired, when he was the one who screwed up. Rufus reminds Dan that meeting a student whom she didn’t even teach, off hours, away from school, was not only improper, but idiotic of Miss Carr. Rufus voted to get her fired to protect Dan’s reputation. Dan storms out. Serena goes to Rachel’s house to give back the planner, and apologize for giving Blair the photo. Miss Carr hands back Serena’s essay, which she apparently read after being fired, and then asks S to leave.
Blair’s happily hanging with Handsome again, when her dad walks in: he heard her admit that she sent in a lie, and lied to him, and he’s disappointed that she’s not as mature as he thought. She justifies her actions, saying that Yale was on the line. Yale doesn’t matter; he wants her to be a good person. Pa Waldorf takes Handsome (apparently Eleanor doesn’t want a bulldog) and heads back to Paris, brokenhearted.
Gossip Girl gives us a physics lesson about equal and opposite reactions as Chuck receives a call from Elle’s employers saying she’s gone missing and asking for his help. Dan goes to Miss Carr’s house and starts to apologize for everything until she kisses him and pulls him into her apartment, telling him, “I don’t teach at Constance anymore.”
But not so fast: now HM Queller is saying that she needs to give Rachel her job back to avoid a wrongful termination suit. They don’t have enough proof, and she believes Dan’s story. Q is on her way to tell Carr, but wanted to tell the head of the Parents’ Committee (Lily) first. But Miss Carr misses her phone call, busy getting it on in the dark with Dan.
